Only Forward

(6) Fermata

"What are you going to wear?" Alyssa had FaceTimed me as soon as she had gotten out of her vet intern shift. She was putting herself in danger of crashing her brand new car by calling me on her drive home, but also way too eager to get an earful of what she had coined "my love life". 
I put my hands on my hips, standing in front of my walk-in closet and stared at my phone's screen.  "I don't know.  I hadn't thought a lot about it.  He said comfy.  Why can't I just wear what I have on?"
Currently, since I was off work, there was no particular reason to wear jeans, so I had on my skinny black leggings and a Minnie Mouse tank top that I had worn only a few too many times for my mother's liking. My hair was up in a bun, out of my face's way, but I had my makeup done as always.  "Couldn't I just wear boots and a cardigan over this and be casual?"
Alyssa was shaking her head and I wondered what the drivers next to her at the stoplight she was at thought of her.  "Absolutely not. Did he tell you where he was taking you?"
"No......" I recalled yesterday's conversation and realized I was walking into a mystery. 
Alyssa glared at me.  "Guys say things that they don't mean or do not think through.  And besides that, don't you want to wow him?  Make him realize what a catch you are?"
I rolled my eyes at her.  "Aren't you supposed to be attracted to someone for their personality and heart?  They are not going to look like superstars forever."
Alyssa was home now and she halted her brisk walk up her home's brick steps and squinted her rebuking green eyes at me.  "Do I need to come over to your house and knock some sense into your head?  This is a FIRST DATE!  You need to make him speechless."
Although that sounded extreme, I held up my index finger in a "one second" motion and slid some hangers across my closet.  After a few seconds, I pulled out a pair of crisp white jeans and a sparkly fuchsia blouse that Vanessa had recently passed on to me.  It was new and I had never worn it before. Alyssa shook her head.  So I put the pink away and stretched for a grey top. Before I even had it propped against the white bottoms, Alyssa was saying no.
"Where are your dresses, you idiot?  You have to wear a dress and I know you have sexy ones!"
"Oh my god, Alyssa.  That is not the goal." I thought better about answering this unhelpful phone call. 
Alyssa's voice turned to a whisper.  "My mom just called me into the kitchen for a family meeting.  I have to go.  But swear to me that you will wear a dress.  If you see via social media that you are clothed differently.....well, you just do not want to know what will happen."
I laughed, clicked her away and pondered to myself if we were 22 and 23 or had hopped into the past and morphed into teenagers again.  So much talk over one outfit.
I dressed myself in the outfit that I wanted (white and grey) and added black eyeliner in the mirror.  Stepping back, I caught a glimpse of what my friend had apparently seen and changed my mind.  I was, in fact, going on a mystery date, for lack of a better description, and as much as I dismayed to acknowledge it, I would regret my simple attire as soon as I reached BlueCorn.  So I thought about how Vanessa approached her first outing with Ellet and quickly sorted through my section of dresses until I landed on the perfect one.  I smiled, styled my hair down and snapped a photo of myself in the mirror before calling out to my parents that I was leaving and headed for the coffee shop. 
Ross had arrived before me.  I felt late but his calm smile when I entered BlueCorn warmed my soul more than I wished to admit. He continued staring and I blinked. Was there something on my face? Then I realized that I had spoken that question out loud and I gasped in embarrassment.
He shook his head.  "There is absolutely nothing negative on your face.  You just look so......nice......"
I smiled against my better judgment and then scowled.  "Nice?  Really?  And to think I was considering you a gentleman."
"Is gorgeous a better word?  That's the word I wanted to use but no reason to come off anymore creepy than I already am," he grinned mischievously and I could feel my face turning red.
"And now you're blushing so I know it's the right word," he beamed and I frowned.  "Awwwww," he crooned.  "I already made my date mourn.  Come on, you need some music."
I cocked my head.  "Hmmmm?"
Ross took my arm and led me to his vehicle parked right outside.  As he opened the passenger door to let me in, I received a wave of cologne waft my way.  It was if he had sprayed an entire bottle on the interior of his automobile before meeting me.  Unless he had not had a shower in four months, I was sure he did not need that much scent. 
We were barreling down the road when Ross finally spoke again.  He does not stay quiet for very long, I have discovered.  "You have this queer look on your face.  I suppose you are completely stupefied about where we are going?"
I considered all the genuine answers I could give him and settled with, "No, I know exactly where we are headed."
His eyebrows piqued in a way I had not seen before.  He believed me.  I had to choke back spit to make sure I did not lose my seriousness.  "We are going to a giant room full of skittles. And we will swim in it.  Sadly, though, the red dye will melt into our skin and...." I could not finish my sentence before I was a giggling teenager again.  I made a mental note to cleanse myself later of these ridiculous habits I was recently encountering.
"Very funny, Laura," Ross said.  "You know, it is sad that all you know about me is the fact that Rydel told you I used to be infatuated with skittles.  Tonight, you meet the present me."
I opened my mouth with a comeback that I did know the present him, but we pulled up at a warehouse.  I started to regret following Alyssa's advice and putting these heels on.  Ross opened my door. 
"Now, before you speak, step down onto the black tar and link arms with me.  Any guys in there," he gestured with his finger to the building in front of us.  "Any guys that are not my brothers need to know that you are taken.  Waltzing around in that red dress will get you in trouble."
I looked down at myself. Is that really the vibe I gave off?  If so, I put the wrong gown on.  Setting that thought on the back burner, I slipped my arm through his and matched my steps to his.  All of a sudden, I could feel cool air against my ear.  His breath tickled me slightly as he whispered, "I know you were trying to impress me with this dress.  I could tell by the way you nervously walked into BlueCorn.  Doesn't matter what you wear, Laura.  You're still the girl I chose to take to hear me and my siblings play in front of a crowd for the first time."
"Wh...h...h..haaa...at?" I stuttered.  As he was murmuring in my ear, he had led me to a side door, slipped us inside and suddenly I was face to face with Rydel and Rocky and two other guys I did not remember meeting before.  Rydel smiled at me and pulled out her hair tie, letting her ringed blonde curls drape down her back.  Rocky saluted me with a finger.  "It's the coffee girl.  I'm glad you gave him a second chance after he swiped all my whipped cream."
I laughed.  One guy introduced himself as Riker and pointed out Ellington, who was holding wooden drumsticks and was standing at the massive curtain hanging from the ceiling above us, tapping his toes.  "Are we going out there or.....?  I mean, we've only been dreaming of this for a couple years now."
Ross kissed me on the forehead and winked as he disappeared behind the curtain onto what I guessed was a stage.  I was frozen for a second and then peered my eyes between the velvet fabric to watch this "first concert".  I smiled genuinely for the first time in a long time.  Ross happened to glance my way and his whole face was glowing.  I knew it was not for me, but I wished I could snapshot this moment and replay it forever. 
In music, there is a symbol called a fermata.  Although it resembles an upside down half-blind smiley face, it actually represents a pause of time for an unspecified amount of moments.  This is what I wished for:  a fermata to pause this moment of bliss.  A fermata that would not only pause on the most beautiful of seconds but seal them away in my heart forever.  You know, ever since I desired new experiences, this is not what I had dreamt up.  It was even more so.