Chapter 1: Smell good

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BAR

Kasabay ng pag tugtog ng malakas na musika galing sa speaker ng buong bar ay ang pag galaw ng aking katawan dulot ng kalasingan.

Sinasabayan ng aking katawan ang musika na umaalingawngaw sa kabuuan ng bar.

Sabado ng gabi nang mapagdesisyonan namin nila Michelle, Cath at Nikki na mag night out dahil na rin sa stress dulot ng trabaho.

"Arie, you are fucking drunk!" Ani Michelle na lasing na rin at nakikipagsayawan sa mga hindi kakilala. 

Yeah, I am fucking drunk. I just wanna be like this just for this day. I wanna forget all the bullshits in my life! Just gor this day..

I still remember all the days he made me feel worthless. 3 years of sacrificing for our relationship to work out.

I feel numb, tired, ugly, stupid, worthless and I pity myself for having this feeling.

I just want to be happy, I just want to love and beloved. All I wants is to feel worthy in every people I love the most. 

Dale is my boyfriend for 3 years. The first year of being together is good and we're both happy. Pero nag umpisa ang pagloloko niya simula nung nag dalawang taon kami.

When I first caught him cheating on me I felt betrayed but because I love him I forgive him, hanggang sa paulit ulit niya na itong ginagawa hanggang sa makasanayan ko nalang.

Akala ko kaya niyang bago, kaya paulit ulit kong sinubukan. I try to put extra efforts to make things work. I gave all the love that I have to make him satisfy. But all the hard work that I did was not enough for him to stay. He continued to hook up with some other girls. 

Dahil mahal ko siya paulit ulit ko siyang pinatawad. I dont want to forget all the memories we had. Kaya patuloy parin akong nakapit.

Nang mapagod akong sumayaw ay bumalik ako sa table namin at nadatnan kong umiinom ng wine si Cath.

"Hey Arie, you okay?" Ani Cath.

"Yeah, I'm fine." giit ko ngunit hindi ko maitago ang sakit na nararamdaman.

"Are you sure? Come on Arie, we are bestfriends for almost 5 years. I know you are not feeling good. Every time I saw you drunk like this, only one person comes on my mind." Ani Cath.

"Please Cath, let's not talk about it. I'm Good! In fact I'm enjoying. There is no reason to feel not Good!" pagkukumbinsi ko kay Cath upang maniwala na ayos lang ako.

"Is it about Dale?" Halatang disappointed na sagot ni Cath.

Sa pag kakakilala ko kay Cath alam kong wala na akong takas sa ganitong usapan kapag siya na mismo ang nag salita.

"Yeah. No other than" pag bibiro ko.

"Hays, Arie. Wake up! know your worth. Dale is flirting with so many girls! aren't you scared? baka may sakit na yan! mahawa kapa" Pagbibiro din ni Cath. 

My God! For pete's sake! wala pa nangyayari sa amin ni Dale. I'm not ready for that. I'm just 21 and I am not ready after all.

"Cath! Wala pa nangyayari samin! alam mo yan"

"Yeah, yeah! Mabuti na din yun para di ka mag kasakit. Kidding!" sabay halakhak ni Cath.

"You're crazy" tanging nasagot ko na lamang.

"Seriously, kelan ka ba talaga mauuntog ha?"

Ayan nanaman siya.

"I don't know. Maybe kapag na pagod na ako" sagot ko.

"What?! eh kaylan kapag mapapagod ha?"

"Cath you know that he's my first love, my first boyfriend. I cant lose him" hindi maitago ang pait sa aking mga sinabi.

"So? What matters is yung hindi ka sasaktan! Kaysa naman mag tiis ka sa paulit ulit niyang panggagago sayo! kalimutan mo na siya at humanap kana ng iba" halata sa tono ni Cath ang pagkadismaya.

"Sana nga ganun kadali ang lahat. Pero parang napakahirap. Naiisip ko pa lang na ipamigay siya sa iba at iwan ko nalang ng basta napakahirap na. We built our memories together, so many memories"

"Naisip din ba niya lahat ng naiisip mo? Be fair to yourself Arie. Know your worth! Kaya ka niyang iwan at ipagpalit kahit kaylan niya gusto Arie. Nag bubulagbulagan ka lang dahil sa pag mamahal mo sa kanya. Come on Arie, that's not the same Arie that I know before" Ani Cath sa nag aalalang tono.

yeah, she's true. This is not me.

Nakaramdam ako ng pagkahilo nang mapagdesisyonan ko ng umuwi.

"Do want me to drive you home?" Nag aalalang tanong ni Cath.

"No. I have my Car and my condo is near here I can manage. Thanks for tonight Cath ikaw na bahala kayna Michelle and Nikki mga lasing na ata yun"

"Yeah, Ako na ang bahala. Mag ingat ka" Ani Cath sabay beso sakin. 

Tuluyan na akong lumabas ng bar at nag tungo sa parking area upang hanapin ang kotse ko.

Nang mahanap ko ang kotse ay agad akong nag lakad patungo roon ngunit bago pa ako makapasok ay may narinig akong pamilyar na boses.

"Honey.. you smell good" ungol ng lalaki sa di kalayuan.

Lumapit ako doon upang makumpirma ang hinala.

All my bloods are getting high and my tears started to fall down when I saw him kissing the other girl roughly.

It's Dale..

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⏰ Last updated: Jan 16, 2018 ⏰

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