The Avengers Imagines / One Shots

You're giving me a heart attack! (Steve Rogers x Reader)

Warning! Dead children, panic attacks, heart attacks and sex!

I knoooow this first one shot is smutty but I promise, not everyone is :))

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After a long week of infiltrating Hydra stations across the world, you were finally on your way back home. The incidents at the last two Hydra bases had been a gruesome experience. They had been kidnapping children from different countries that qualified their expectations and the last mission had been just horrible. Blood was on the walls throughout the whole buildning and children were lying dead everywhere, and it was visible that they had been pleading for their lives as they had stains on their cheeks from tears streaming down their faces. It was giving you nightmares in broad daylight. Your mission was to gather intell and clear out specific bases, and among all the files you had found several videotapes. Tapes of children being tortured, starved and killed. You had tried to keep calm and not to break from reality, but it was hard.

When you had arrived back at the tower, none of you had said anything. It was only you, Clint and Steve on this mission and all three of you were emotionally broken down and even physically hurt. The rest of the team could sense the tension and they knew not to ask.

•••

After two weeks, the nightmares had only gotten worse by the minute and it was tearing you down. You spoke less and worked out more, trying to get it out of your system. Everyone now knew what had happened on the mission and Fury had set up councelling hours for all three of you. It had hit Clint the most, probably because he has children of his own and it was closer to home. Steve seemed much better now, since he has probably seen worse, but it was still bugging him on the inside.

"Tell me about that day." The man in front of you said softly with a pen between his fingers, ready to write down everything you were to say. You went silent for a moment before speaking up, preparing to dig up terrifying memories.

"We were sent across the nations to gather information and to pick up whatever intell we could find. On the last location, in Germany, we were met by a closed off property. It looked like an academy, though it was beaten down and old. Before we went inside we did a quick sweep on the surveillance, to check if there were still people inside. There was...but they weren't moving so we though they might not be alive. On the screen, it looked like adults, but when we entered we realised it was..." you sighed heavily, trying hard not to choke on your words. "...children. They were everywhere. There was so much blood and..." you were talking fast now and you felt yourself starting to hyperventilate. "...and. Fuck, I can't do this. I'm sorry." And with that you were quickly on your feet and ran out of the room, your feet quick to get you out. As you ran down the hallway, your vision was too cloudy to focus enough so you bumped into a large man who were coming your way. Looking up frantically, your eyes met Steve's and he was visibly worried.

"Hey, you okay?"

You didn't answer. Instead, you hurried out of the building and quickly ran a few blocks down and went into a dark alley, crouching down against the wall. As if on que, your emotions got the best of you and you broke down, crying silently into your hands. Your last mission had taken its toll on you and you were contemplating on how you were going to get over this. You had struggled for so long with your depression, and now that you were finally getting better, this happens. You were usually good at coping, but this was different. No other mission had been this hard, and you feel like you've seen worse but nothing is worse than dead children spread across the floor in front of you. If only you had been there sooner, you thought. But your thoughts were suddenly interrupted when two hands rested on top of your knees. Looking up, you saw Steve looking at you with worry and sympathy, knowing exactly what you were going through. You felt like it wasn't going to stop and it only made you feel worse, both mentally and physically. You didn't know how to snap out of it. Suddenly, a wave of fear sttuck you and it felt like you couldn't breathe.