I drove down to the beach, where Daniel and I filmed a music video. I turned up the radio as DJ's new song 'Sorry' came on. I felt tears well up, hearing the sound of his voice, I only wonder we would be doing right now, if he never broke up with me, would we be playing Black Ops inside of his house, or would we be laying on the couch, while I read him my book of lame jokes.
Suddenly, I realized I was at the beach. I smiled slightly, seeing it. The sand was still perfect, the waves crashing against the shore gracefully. If only I could go back in time and erase whatever I did wrong.
I looked around, kicking my feet in the sand as I remembered the interview on the beach and calling myself 'Super Green Woman'. I giggled at the thought. I remembered him, wrapping his arms around me, when the camera's were off.
"Came here to remember?" I jumped, slightly startled, I turned around to see Daniel. I didn't say anything, I just turned back around and stared at the waves. "I did." Daniel said. I nodded. "What happened, Kathryn?" Daniel asked. "Why aren't we friends anymore?" He asked.
"Because...a lot has happened." I said. "and you're a jerk." I said. He sighed and looked down, he stuffed his hands in his pockets and nodded his head, kicking some sand lightly with his feet. "But I should say thank you." I said.
"Thank you?" He asked. I nodded.
"If it wasn't for you, I would never of had that break down and I would've never gotten help." I said. He looked at me.
"So, you're saying it's my fault, for your break down? How is it my fault?" He asked.
"Because, if you hadn't brought Zharm on tour with you 1-2 months after we broke up, I wouldn't have had that break down." I said. I stared at him for a moment. "What were you trying to prove? Traipsing your new girlfriend, in front of your ex, what the hell was going on in your brain that made you even think that was okay?" I asked, angrily.
He shrugged and looked down. "I don't know. I wasn't thinking properly."
"Well, I guess what goes around comes around, because she left you for another man, now, how does it feel, Daniel? Do you feel awesome?" I asked, bitterly. He swallowed and shook his head.
"but...I guess it doesn't matter anymore." I said. "Cause. What was done is done, what was said was said."
"Kath..." He started. "I didn't mean too...I was...I don't even know...I wasn't thinking obviously. But, I know that I miss you...and I want a second chance..." He said.
"Good luck." I said as I walked away, I felt him grab my arm.
"Kathryn, please. It's not...I can't go on like this....without you...." he paused. "it's not the same. It never will be. I miss you so much, I can't go on without you, Kath." He said. I swallowed hard.
"I felt the same way when you dumped me, but you didn't care, you'd found somebody new." I said. He sighed and looked down.
"I didn't know that meant losing you." He said.
"Well, you lost me." I said, I jerked my arm away and grabbed my shoes, which were laying in the sand, and began making my away across the beach and back to my car.
"Kathryn, Stop!" He cried but I ignored him. "Do you ever think I was scared?" He yelled. I turned around suddenly and looked at him, throwing my hands in the air.
"Afraid of what?!" I yelled.
"I was afraid of losing you forever so I wanted to stay friends because what we have--I mean what we HAD was special, Kath! That's why I broke up with you!" He said.
"What about me, huh? I was scared! You promised you'd never hurt me because you KNEW I was scared! But you BROKE that promise! I can't trust you, you said you'd be there for me, but did you ever call me when I was in rehab!? No, you didn't, because you're a LIAR!" I screamed and then I walked angrily into my car and slammed the door and began driving home.
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