Drowning

Prologue

"Oh, my sweet baby," Tamar cooed to the baby girl she held in her arms. Tamar couldn't believe that she had to soon let go of the one thing that she had longed for since she herself was a little girl.

Silent tears made their tracks down her face and fell into the night. The tiny drops did nothing to help the thirsty landscape of the desert. Phoenix had proven to be her escape, her and her newborn daughter's, and Tamar didn't regret a single decision that brought her here.

She looked down at the sleeping baby as she speed-walked the streets of Downtown Phoenix, and thought of the man who seduced her all those months ago. She fell hard for the man, and without knowing, she fell for the myth as well. All too well, she remembered his perfect physique and the way his voice seemed to call on every cell in her body to hum. Even looking at the proof of their union, she could see him in her baby's eyes.

"Thalassa." Tamar whispered in the cool air and pulled the blanket around the sleeping child tighter once she reached her destination. The decision was agonizing to make, so much so, that she almost missed the cutoff date to keep anonymity when she dropped off her daughter for the "Safe Haven Law." Even then, as much as she wanted to keep Thalassa with her, she knew it was impossible.

The adoption agency was closing in just a half hour, and Tamar prayed that it was just enough time for her to say her final goodbye to her child that she fought so hard to bring into this world.

"Can I help you?" A kind voice called out from the front office. Tamar recognized her from the website as the director of the agency. Tamar licked her lips and looked down at Thalassa.

"I need to drop my baby off." Lord knew she didn't want this for her or her child. However, when you know you're dying, and there's no one to help you, there are very few options that are available. "I have to claim safe haven." The words opened a dam of emotion and tears for Tamar, as well as the woman who stood before her.

The director felt for the girl who looked like she was in her early twenties, just like she felt for anyone who came through the doors to give up their child. Very rarely did she ever come across someone who despised the child that they were leaving behind, usually as was the case she was about to take on, it was always a mother who had the love but didn't have the means to care for the little bundles that they clung to.

"I can help you with that. May I ask a few questions?" Though the mother before her looked torn about her decision, she also looked skittish. However, a quick nod gave her the 'go ahead' she was looking for. "Is there any medical history between the parents that we should know about?"

"Yes. I have leukemia. It was in remission for years, I thought I beat it. But during one of my prenatal exams, my doctor found that it was back. There was nothing we could do. The thought of abortion didn't feel right, not when I was facing my own mortality. Which meant chemo was out. By the time I was in labor the cancer had metastasized." The sobs overtook Tamar's body and it was several minutes before she could continue. "The doctor's only give me a month, if that. I needed to make sure she was secure before I go."

The director passed along some tissues and said a quick prayer over the new client and her child. She wanted so desperately to know her name, but the point of being a safe haven for infant drop-offs was so that the parent or parents could ensure safe keeping of their child without facing any punishment for child abandonment. Anonymity went a long way to some of the people who couldn't meet the needs of their new infant.

"Okay. Can you tell me anything about her place and date of birth? Her health, race?" Tamar watched as the director reached out to hold Thalassa but she couldn't do it just yet. As an unspoken compromise, Tamar unwrapped the blanket from Thalassa's little body so she could see the baby had not been abused.