After You Left

Dedication to miss_styles for being my first fan.

This is my very first story. I hope you all like it. Please vote, comment and fan. And I'm sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes. Thank you. Enjoy.

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After you left, all I did was cry. Often I sat in that corner of your room willing the tears not to fall. All in all, I never succeeded. I clearly remember that one day when you smacked me on the back telling me to grow up, you said crying wasn’t going to help fix anything, it would only make me seemed like a wuss. You wanted me to stand up and that’s exactly what I did.

I took out a piece of paper, wrote your name on the top and listed everything down. It was now your list. I left home with nothing except some money and clothes. I told mom and dad I needed a time out and didn’t let them follow me. I took buses after buses reaching a small town in the middle of nowhere. I found a market where they sold a camera- it was the only one there at the moment- and a blank notebook, so I bought it.

I went to that small bakery you would always press your face on, staring at everything. I went inside. You never had money whenever we came here but you always wanted everything especially that cinnamon roll. I bought one for you, took a picture of it, stuck it in the book and left. On my way out, I saw a boy standing in front of the glass door staring. He reminded me so much of you, so I gave the roll to him. I ticked two things of your list.

I took another bus to that amusement park you swore to go to and took one step inside. I didn’t pay to go in, the money I had was only enough for particular things. I took another picture and stuck it. Then I left.

My next stop was at that street she lived in. I walked those heavy steps towards her house. Finally standing in front of her door, I pressed the door bell hoping she would be the one to open the door but again things didn’t go the way I wanted and instead her dad answered it asking who I was. I told him I was her friend; he called her out and left us alone.

I told her everything you told me about her, everything you had wanted to tell her and she asked me where you were. I told her you were gone and she broke down in front of me, crying. I didn’t know what to do; everything just brought back the pain, so I left. I left her on her doorstep sobbing alone. That was the hardest thing I had ever had to do. Telling her you were gone brought up feelings of self hate inside me, knowing I couldn’t do anything about it and leaving her there was just as worst.

You thought she was the most beautiful girl in the world and no matter how much I pestered you about it; you never had the guts to tell her how you feel. Of course she liked you too, who wouldn’t? But she was like you, scared of being rejected and losing the other.

This time on the bus ride, I couldn’t think straight. I kept seeing those people, people who had each other, whose lives were nothing but cream on pie. I kept seeing those happy faces, smiling faces. It reminded me of when I had finished high school and you told me I would be great in life, you were proud of me. That brought happiness to me then. I almost smiled at the memory. I brought out the list and ticked another two things off.

I got off at my stop to that big library with the ugly yellow color. Somehow today it actually seemed to match the shining hot ball in the sky. Perhaps it was only because you loved it. I removed the camera from where it was hanging around my neck and took a picture of it and entered. It was a good thing I hadn’t forgotten my card or I wouldn’t have been able to burrow that book you were waiting to read. I took it and left.

I walked for a few minutes in a daze, barely acknowledging my surroundings until I found the bus stop and lounged on the bench. While I sat there, I basked in the memory. I remembered we had first passed through that library, you were struck by how big it was, and you wanted to go there one day. You would have made it your mission to read all the books, no matter the genre, no matter how many. I’m sorry I couldn’t do that for you. If I did have time in life then I would try, but I got the one you wanted most.

The bus stopped in front of me, disrupting my thoughts. There was no use in going back there, the memories only hunted me and made me feel worst about everything. Maybe one day it would bring pleasure and I would be able to remember. But that day wasn’t today. I walked all the way to the back sit even if others were vacant, solitude was what I basked for right now and I wasn’t in the state to be with the people around me. 

The bus stopped and I dreaded getting out. Maybe if I sit ideally, the driver would forget I was still here, but I had to, for you. It would be a waste to not finish what I started. And that was what scared me, this would be the end.

I got out with the laughing mass; oblivious to the pain I was feeling. It was right there, the wall of fame as it was liked to be called. ‘You’re going to see my name there one day; I’m going to do something great’, you said once that we passed it.

Well, you did do something great; you were always there for me. The marker was trembling in my hands as I signed:

                     Christopher,

                  Known for having a great heart.

Another two things crossed off your list. Christopher’s list. Another picture taken and stuck along with the list. This time I didn’t leave, I sat there watching as life passed in front of my eyes. Now all the pain was gone leaving the numb feeling that over took me. Then I opened the book.

          Christopher Stone, beloved brother of Ashton Stone.

          Son of Marcus and Abigail Stone.

          1991-2012

          Will always be loved.

I closed the book and left it there in the crowd of people. Someone would find it. You wanted to be known and remembered. You will be.

  I’m sorry I didn’t save you. But I did this just for you.