half way blossomed

coming out (My first slam poem)

I was in 2nd grade

I remember this day so clearly

It was the first time i heard this word and thought it meant something bad

I thought that something

Was wrong with me

Just because i wanted to skip

And hold hands with my Best Friend

I thought i was disgusting

Gay

I was in 2nd grade

I barley knew the word

Some how i knew

It was bad.

But me being my sassy self

Decided to say that

She was my best friend

And i love her

But im not gay

I didn't want to be

Gay

I knew I wasn't Gay

But ever since I heard that word

I did not want to be called it

I mean i knew i liked boys

I also knew I liked girls

But i shut that out of my head

And said i wasn't Gay

Not today

Not ever

Until I was being called a new word

One that meant the same thing

To me. And it hurt me.

There was nothing wrong with this word.

But I spent hours crying because I

Would be called this word

Every day

And torture myself

Over it every day

Because being a Lesbian

Was not right

At least to them

It was not right

So they used it

As if it was a Big huge

Pair of scissors

Slowly cutting off

Big chunks of

My big loving heart

That knew how to love everyone

Unlike there's

If we fast forward to now

Things have changed

I still don't like the word

I hate the word

Its not a bad word

It just brings bad memories

But i now have a new word

I flaunt this word

Or at least i try

I feel horrible

At times for being this word

But i am this word

I always have

And always will

Pansexual

Thats me

I know how to love

No matter

Shape

Size

Gender

Sexuality

And so many more things

I find beauty in people

So please do not

I repeat DO NOT

Tell me that

I am a horrible person

Because I love

Created 8/9/17