According to all known laws of reality a spider should not speak human. Do I care? Hell no.I talk to my BF Peter ALL the time. And listen if you don't know how dat fine boi became the web slinger of new york, then you're an uncultured fuck up. Spoiler: he got bit by a spider, no just any spider, it was me! That's right baby love at first bite. Anyway, it's been about a year now since I first bit pete's neck and I'm a little worried about our relationship. For my own protection, Peter doesn't bring me to school, Y'know so I don't get squashed. He tell me about every moment. Everybody. My baby's such a good photographer that the school has him do pictures for events, and clubs, and sports teams. Never has he ever put one as his screensaver on his computer until last week. It's of the school newspaper club or committee, whatever it is. The picture is centered on a girl with obnoxious red hair. I can only assume it's Mary jane, peter never shuts up about her. "Mj this, blah blah blah Mj that." How am I supposed to compete with that ?! I"M A FUCKING SPIDER!!!
"Hey Suzette, what a long day, I just wanna lay in bed with a certain sexy archnoid until tomorrow" Said Peter having just come from school. He then plopped onto his bed.
"Fine by me," My pinchers form a smile, while I crawl onto his shoulder.
"Baby, Can we talk first?" I asked him.
"Uh Oh Zette what's up? My spidey senses are tingling..."
"I don't know recently I feel maybe I'm not enough for you, I mean I'm a spider babe."
"Woah, woah, woah, woah, Suzette I wouldn't care if you seventy-two year old, a venus flytrap, a two year old Love is love and I love you. You are so much more than enough for me."
"Then why Mary Jane your screensaver?"
"Is that what this is about?" He chuckled
"I don't find this funny, Peter!"
"Right. Sorry. Suzette, MJ set that and put a sticky note on my computer saying 'you got my bad side parker'."
"So you don't jerk off to her balzing locks of hair at night?"
"What? No that'd be like jerking to a normie" Then he smirked and whispered, "Besides the only thing I need to climax is that sexy little thorax of yours"
"Oh peter" I blushed. He smiled
"I love you"
"I love you to,"
