Fifty Shades Of Meiosis - A "Parody" Made for Biology

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“Are you ready?”

Mei Cyrus was on the bed, holding a glass of bourbon as she enjoyed herself. We were both in her red, exotic room, filled with tropical-themed furniture and an arrangement of decorations.  It was a beautiful feeling, but a strange, musky scent was spread inside, giving me a sickly feeling.

“Yeah,” I murmured. My words and mind told me that this was right, but my heart said no. Meiosis told me that this would be a fast process, and I would feel heavenly and pleased. I’ve heard about it in films, and even in textbooks. But I never visualized myself getting into this at all, this being my first time.

And then there was Mei, who had probably done it much more than I.

With a slight nod, Mei moved further from the bed, giving me some room to sit down. I slowly came onto it, my legs crossed and my arms folded. I kept my eyes focused on the velvet, flowery bedsheet, remaining silent until Mei was ready to begin.

                Out of nowhere, her body touched my side, a chill beginning to rush through my thighs and ribs. I chose to stay quiet and firm, not wanting to show her I was scared. All I could see was her devious, persitant smile and her needy eyes, staring at my body hungrily. It was a strange and unusual feeling, something that didn’t feel pleasant at all.

                “You sure you know what you’re doing?” I asked, cocking my head to her direction. I wanted to say that I didn’t want this, that I wanted to just do something else, but the fear of regret and unacceptance lingered through my mind like a petal in the wind, flowering blissfully.

                I heard a small chuckle from Mei as she sat up, moving on top of me. “Oh don’t worry,” she said, sitting on top of my thighs. “This won’t hurt a bit.” Her eyes became more forceful than needy, and I was ready to simply shove her off of me, leaving the room to get away from this unwanted desire.

                And then it happened.

                Out of nowhere, Mei’s small hands reached behind her back, twisting the fanny pack from her back to her front. Now focusing on the pack, her hands unzipped the closing, revealing 4 small objects. They looked precious, each one having a different shape and structure. The small fear inside of me evolved into a feeling of desire, my whole body starting to go out of control. It was as if…

                It was as if I was starting to want this.

                She must’ve noticed my look of eagerness as she began taking out one of the objects. It was a little orb, containing centrioles, chromosomes, and a diluted nuclear envelope. On the glass, it read a word: Prophase. Mei then dropped the orb onto my chest, beginning to push it down. I would’ve freaked out seeing her do this, but I felt a small tingly feeling, my muscles on my chest starting to loosen and relax. My tense posture soon became softened, and I felt instant relief.

                I lift my head up to see what was going on and saw the orb, literally going through my chest. It seemed liked Mei wasn’t even putting any pressure onto my chest, but it felt like soft, feminine hands rubbing out my chest. The pressure was lovely, and I enjoyed it completely.

                As I was enjoying what was going on, the feeling stopped immediately. Confused, I look up at Mei to see what was going on. The same smile was on her face as she looked at my eyes again, giving me a small wink. Her ruby red lips opened up, her voice coming out.

                “What just happened was the process of something I like to call, Prophase 1.” She whispered, starting to lean in closer to me. Her lips were just inches away from mine, which trembled at the feeling of her breath. “You see, in that orb, the pairing of homologous chromosomes occurred. As they crossed over, the exchange of genetic information was produced. And as the nuclear envelope broke down, the spindles had formed.” Mei quickly moved back to her past position, reaching into her bag again.

                I had literally no clue what she was talking about, and I would’ve asked questions if she didn’t pull out another one of those orbs. Sitting in the palm of her hands was another orb, but a bit wider and full of lined-up chromosomes. I began to smile as the ball pressed into my chest again, giving me the tingly feeling of arousal.

                She had gone and done this 3 more times after Prophase 1, each having their own name, shape, and process: Metaphase 1 was the wide orb holding the lined-up chromosomes, its purpose having the chromosome centromeres attach to the spindle fibers as the homologous chromosomes line up at the equator; Anaphase 1 was as wide as Metaphase one, where homologous chromosomes separated and moved to opposite poles of the cell; and Telophase 1, the last of the orbs, was 2 orbs stuck together, its purpose having the spindles breaking down as chromosomes uncoil and form two nuclei, the cell starting to divide. All of the orbs had their power, and the more she used each, the greater it felt on my chest. The whole process was fulfilling and mesmerizing, and I enjoyed the orbs, massaging my chest and making it feel fresh and alive.

                As Mei finished up with Telophase 1, my chest was on fire, the skin vibrating and the flesh underneath sizzling. It felt so good and relaxing that my body craved more of the orb’s magic touch.

                “Oh, Mei,” I murmured, lifting up my head to look into her beautiful eyes. “That felt so great,”

                Mei’s whole face was red and sweaty, and she was panting loudly. She must’ve grown tiresome pressing the orbs into my chest, this process having much more of an effect on her. As soon as I finished talking, she fell to my side, her eyes fluttering a bit as they looked into mine. Suddenly, a small smile appeared on her face, her hand reaching to my face and caressing it.

                “I know,” she whispered, drifting off to sleep a bit. “When I wake up, we’ll start off with the next part, beginning with Prophase 2.”

 

                And that’s the process of Meiosis.

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⏰ Last updated: May 30, 2014 ⏰

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