My 365 day journal

January 17, 2018

Hence the title, you can tell that procrastination is one my of worst qualities.

*17 DAY RECAP*

The last 17 days have been okay. not the worst but also not the best. I feel really "routine" in my life right now. Wake up just in time to go to work, come home and jump on a ps4 game called "Fortnite", stay up all night playing with my friends, repeat. I wanna change things up but how? How can I change things up when I have absolutely no motivation to do anything. I feel bored in my routine but I have no idea how to change it. Save up for a vacation? Get a new job? become more outgoing? this year I want things to be different. I'm not about to say "New year, New me" but I do want to take charge and make a change in my life. not just a small change in my routine, but a big change in my life.

*TODAY*

Today was again, routine. I should probably start with a little background. My name is Destiny, my birthday is August 9, 1999. I was homeschooled in 9th grade till I graduated. I work at a Daycare. I have always dreamed of living in a big city in an apartment. never wanted a house. looking out at a city at nighttime makes me feel so empowered, like I can do anything. I don't know why. my problem is, everytime I get a new job, I like it at first but then after a few months I start to really hate it. ive never really seen myself as the type to be happy with a typical 9-5 hour job. everytime I say that to anyone they always say "Too bad that's just life" but it doesn't have to be. I want one of those jobs that you travel with or you do different things everyday. I don't want my life to be boring I want it to be memorable. I'm not trying to make it in the history books I just want to live my life to the fullest. and for that to happen, I have to put in the hard work now. I'm 18, I have time to get myself on track. I really want to take my family on a vacation but I know I have to save up for other things too like college, a car, etc. I think at the moment, I want to save up for the vacation. Anyways, going back to today, I didn't do much today. its been icy so my work has been closed all week and tomorrow is the first day back this week and I'm not really looking forward to it honestly. we will see how tomorrow goes though. I think the first big step in making changes in my life would be to fix my sleeping schedule. its 4:30am right now and I need to be up for work in less than 6... RIP.