I can’t help but stare at the man in front of me with dislike, talking about a girl he knew nothing about. He isn’t the one down here sitting in black, crying their eyes out, no, he was doing a pre-written speech, performed plenty of times. He isn‘t the one who sits in a chair on this bright, sunny day, wishing it would be dark and gloomy. “Lily, lovely lady, loud, loved laughing and life. She was a fantastic runner, running all her life, even being awarded three scholarships for her athletic ability.” I can’t help but zone out, his words bringing me back ten years ago, when things were simple, happy.
Whoosh! The air hits my face as Lily races by, man she’s fast! She is even beating the 5th graders who live down the street! After finishing, she races over to where Lawrence and I are sitting. “You’re as fast as a cheetah Lily!” Lawrence tells her, bouncing around.
“No way! She’s as fast as a lightning bolt, duh!” I tell him, sticking my tongue out at my weird friend.
“Cheetah’s are faster than lightning bolts stupid!” he shouts, waving his arms in the air like a crazy person.
“No! You are more stupid than a- a cheetah!” I shout back at him, grabbing a fistful of his shirt. His brown eyes widen at my tight grip and he struggles to get out, what I’m a tom boy! “Now, what do you say for calling me stupid?” I tell him as I narrow my eyes up at him.
A smirk goes across his face as he opens that big mouth of his, “I’m sorry, that you’re stupid!” Oh, I’m going to kill him, unfortunately Lily figures this too.
“Oh no you don’t missy!” she says, pushing us apart. She always is the peace keeper, ruining my fun! “Now Lawrie,” I can’t help but snicker as she says his girly nickname, but quickly shut-up with the look she shoots me, “I think you should apologize, please Lawrie?” she says, transforming her eyes to big puppy-dog ones.
After a few seconds, he caves and stubbornly spits out, “I’m, ugh, I’m sorry Flower.” Lily starts giggling at my girly, dumb name. Ugh, why couldn’t my parents be normal? My twin gets the name Lily, but I just get Flower! I just roll my eyes at him and hook arms with them, dragging us away from my porch, praying Lily will forget making me apologize.
“Where are we going Flower?” I smile when she says this, works every time.
I’m brought back to the present when I feel a squeeze on my left hand. I look up into the teary eyes of Lawrence, he tries shooting me a grin, which comes out more as a grimace, but he’s doing better than me, I can’t even attempt a smile back. I feel more tears flow down my face and hit our conjoined hands. I look down at them, easily noticing the huge, diamond ring on my left finger, remembering the day I announced the engagement.
“Ahem” I speak clearly across the table, everyone’s gazes turning to my nervous face. “Hi, everyone, I’m sure you wondered why I asked all of you here today. Um, I have a rather big announcement that affects all of you.” I tell them, waving my hand across the table.
“EEEEKKKKK! YOU’RE GETTING ENGAGED!” Lily shrieks from across the table. I look into her wide eyes, waiting for confirmation. Still blushing, I nod my head and hold up my left hand again. Before anyone can speak a word, I’m already tackled into the ground by an over excited Lily. Not being able to see past her thick, blonde hair, I just listen to everyone congratulating my fiancé. After a few moments, she finally gets up and drags me over to him. I immediately wrap him in a hug, his 6’5” figure easily picking me up. Once he sets me down, I just stare into his eyes, my hands still wrapped in his black hair. Click, I hear the camera go off, I look at Lily who’s attempting to look innocent.
“Let me see Lily!” I demand, my hand sticking out for the camera. She rolls her eyes and sticks her tongue out at me as she places the camera in my hands. I wave off her warnings of what she will do to me if I delete it and bring up the picture. Wow, it was beautiful. His hands wrap around my thin waist. My light, brown hair that reaches to just above his hands, lead up my 5’2” frame to my head. My bright blue eyes sparkle with emotion as I look up into the love of my life’s eyes. He towered over me, African American, slightly shaven head, stubble, and deep brown eyes, all together an intimidating sight. In the picture though, his eyes were filled with love for me, and he was holding me as if I was a fragile doll. I smile at the picture and look up at my gorgeous fiancé. I walk over to my blonde haired, blue eyed girl and wrap her in a huge hug.
She melts into it and whispers in my ear, “I always knew you and Lawrie would end up together.”
I’m broken out of my flashback to see everyone moving forward. I stay sitting, I feel a small tug at my hand and find myself nodding to Lawrence to go ahead. Thirty minutes later, everyone has left, except for me. I slowly reach her and I crumble to the ground.
“Lily, Lily why did you have to leave me? I don’t know what I’m going to do without you! You were supposed to be going to college with me! You were going to run, I was going to work on my business degree, and Lawrence was going to play basketball; it was going to be perfect! Lily why did you have to be driving, you didn’t deserve this. Knowing you, you’d be happy to know that the drunken bastard who crashed into you is still alive. He’s fine actually, I’m not happy about it. You’re my best friend Lily, or you were. I know I’m supposed to be saying bye, but I just don’t think I can. I don’t think I know how to. How do you say goodbye to someone who was always there, someone who is still supposed to be here? I j-just ca-cant!” I finish, breaking off into sobs. I don’t know how long I cried when I feel arms wrap around my shoulders and I instantly melt into Lawrence’s embrace. “Don’t ever leave me, please.” I ask him, swiftly turning around.
He firmly grabs my shoulders and looks me straight in the eye, “I will never leave you. I will always be with you, always.” he says, speaking in his low voice.
“Us.” I say, looking up into his confused face. I place his hand on my beginning to round stomach and whisper, “Us.”
“You’re pregnant?” he asks me, shocked.
“8 weeks, Lily was with me when we found out. I just wanted to make sure it was really going to happen before I told you.”
“I’m going to be a dad?!” Lawrence asks, his eyes twinkling as a sign of happiness.
“Yeah, you are, but first you’re going to be a husband. Two weeks, I can’t have, no I won’t have another maid of honor.”
“Don’t even worry about that, I’m sure that’s how Lily would’ve wanted it. You know, she didn’t leave. As cliché as it is, she’ll always be with us, we still have the memories. Cherish her life Flower, don’t mourn her death, Lily would’ve hated to see you this sad when you’re about to get married and going to be a mom.” Lawrence tells me. Knowing me so well, he gives me one last squeeze before walking away with his hands in his pockets. I turn back to face the coffin that holds my Lily, once full of life, now lying lifelessly in it.
“He’s right isn’t he? I’m going to miss you Lily, I’ll never stop missing you. I still can’t say it though, I still can’t say bye. I just can’t, if I do then it makes it so much more real! I know you’d want me to continue on with life, you always put others before yourself. Lily, I’ll see you again, but for now, for now it’s so long. I love you Lily.” I say before standing up. I motion for the men to lower her casket. I stay with it until they are done and look down at the casket. Dropping my pure, white lily, and watching it gently sink to lay directly on top of the chest. White lilies were always her favorite. When the men start to put the dirt I turn around. Walking away from my twin sister is the hardest thing I’ve ever done before, but I continue, not looking back. I have a whole future ahead of me, I won’t be able to forget Lily, but stopping now would only make continuing on harder. I have to continue, for my college diploma, for my wedding, for Lawrence, for this baby, for my Lily.
