The Baptism of Francesca Grace Smith

1. abandonment by guardian angels

those bambi brown eyes will haunt me, Francesca thought as she clutched between her hands the chiseled face of her guardian angel.

the whole intent of adoption was to help a child out of their unfavourable circumstances, to provide them with a happier form of life. having recently turned 17, she was no longer a child, she certainly was not in need of help and she did not consider her circumstances to be 'unfavorable'.

"i don't want to go," she reassured him with her soft-spoken words and tears that she hasn't cried since she was dragged into the front doors of the orphanage.

leaving this boy behind was what tormented her heart the most. not really because she'd miss him, but because she knew that he needed it more. she recognized the way he longed for kindred love and familial affection. she felt those feelings once upon a time too, before she realised that the only thing family was good for is letting you down.

"you should want to go," he pried her bony fingers from his face and braced his elbows on his knees to let his head hang in a display of defeat, "you should be grateful that you're getting out of here, Frankie."

of course he'd say that. Sadek Rahal has always been comforted by the thought that there's something better beyond the enclosures of the orphanage. he was brought up in a tightly-knitted Lebanese family with a gang lifestyle and mentality. so they were well off, because they lived off the stolen goods of the rich. and no one dared to mess with them, because their family was quite extended.

gang rivalry was what brought Sadek's glorious childhood to an abrupt end. he'd always translate his vivid flashbacks into words for Francesca, of how he waited 30 minutes after the last gun fired and stepped out from behind the bushes and into the road. how bodies laid strewn out down the street, each with Rahal as a last name.

the people of Lebanon were still very familiar with this attack and they dubbed it the Rahal Massacre. Sadek wasn't safe from gang rivalry in his home country so he was brought to California — a place he had never learned to call home as exquisite as it was. but how could he? all that he had been presented with in California was a dreary orphanage. and that wasn't his destiny. he already knew of the lavish life and he was determined to get it back.

"how do i do that? this is my home! these kids are my family. unlike you, this is the greatest my life has ever been."

"the kids in this orphanage can't do anything for you," Sadek swallowed hard before he turned his head to look at her, "we can't do anything for you. but the Smiths can."

Francesca placed an affectionate hand on his pleather-clad back and rested her forehead on the back of his exposed neck. God knows he was the only boy she could truly be affectionate towards.

"you haven't done nothing for me," she hushed the words so softly that it made herself actually feel something, "i don't know how i would've made myself capable of experiencing joy and happiness if it weren't for you, Sadek. you are my family, not the Smiths."

her pale-as-snow freehand glided along his caramel-colored veined forearm until their fingers could be intertwined. this was where she belonged, with her 16 year old Lebanese boy who made her tap into her emotions way better than the resident therapist did.

not some Mormon family who were knee-deep in money and fame. God, she dreaded the thought, fucking Mormons.

"you're taking care of everyone here, Frankie. just because you were put into a position of responsibility and someone kids look up to, doesn't make it a family. you need people who will take care of you too."

"you take care of me."

"no, i don't," he scoffed and sat upstraight to stop her from leaning on him, "i kiss your lips from time to time and call you pretty. i'm no caretaker for you."

Francesca narrowed her eyes at him, green and full of brilliance that had not yet been discovered, "don't play it down to something so shallow. we've always supported each other."

"i wouldn't call that shallow. i mean, you are a sight to behold." he teasingly gave her septum piercing a wiggle with his index finger and she promptly slapped his hand away.

"Sadek, i'm leaving soon. please be serious."

"chill. you're going to visit. all the time."

"and why do you say that as if my visits would annoy you?"

"because i can already tell how they'd turn out," he gave her a sidelong glance and then collapsed onto his back, the grasslawn cushioning his fall, "you'll return looking more expensive than you did in your previous visit, feeling sorry for us poor little orphans that you had to leave behind. but Frankie, what annoys me more is that you're being given a brand new life, yet you insist on looking back."

"i've already had a family give up on me. i don't plan on giving up on you too."

Sadek pulled her down onto his chest when he saw her newly found emotions getting the better of her again. the stars were beginning to come alive and the hours left to Francesca's departure were passing rapidly. deep down, all he wanted was for time to slow the fuck down.

just as Francesca was beginning to fall asleep under the gentle caresses of Sadek's hands to her hair, his brave facade shattered and tears rolled from the corners of his eyes too.

it wasn't easy to admit to her that he felt weak with fear. fear that she might forget him. fear that she will move onto someone far better than him. with her gone, he would lose his will to live. everyone in that damned orphanage would. Sadek cried until the new day dawned.

because his guardian angel was leaving.