Rebels in disguise

Not understanding

Jax

I don't believe in violence. I don't believe a war is the way to solve anything. Because if you hurt someone, you're not going to feel better about yourself. Violence is for the men that feel emasculated and are not comfortable with there own masculinity. Me wearing this feather brings shame to my family as it shows I refuse to join the war. But I don't want to fight someone that I don't know. I'm different. Everyone knows. And when the people who used to bully me left for the war I was happy. Because they weren't here to bully me anymore and I thought that the cycle of pain and grief would stop. But it didn't. I'm the laughing stock of my family and of the town. 

Jax was walking down the street going home when he heard someone call out his name. He looked back and saw the girl from detention yesterday. 

"I'm Cleo." She said shaking Jax's hand. 

"What brings you to talk to me Cleo." Jax questioned.

"I just think it was very brave of you to say that you wouldn't join the war yesterday. Not a lot of men would say that and a lot of men probably don't want to go but go because they want other people to see them as masculine." Cleo stated.

"Well no one thought I was masculine before the war and I don't really care what people think." Jax knew he was lying when he said he didn't care what people think about him, because he does.

"Can you meet me at the tunnels at 9:30pm?" Cleo questioned

"Yeah why?" Jax asked.

"I'll tell you when I see you there. Bring your feather. I have to go now but see you later." She yelled running off. Jax was mesmerised by the girl. He had never seen a girl so dominant in his life. And he would like to think that there would be more girls in higher power. But we live in a place where people who are different are treated differently because were scared of them. So we strip them of their humanity and take away there liberty.

Jax reached his house. His mother was inside.

"Hi mom." He said as he walked over to her and saw a letter in her hands. Another letter from his father and brother who are at war. His mom works as a fire fighter so she isn't home often which is a relief as it means one less person who can bully him for his choices. But she was home now.  

"They say everything is going fine and they are winning and they will be coming home soon." she said with a smile.

"That's what they said last time too." Jax retorted. "When is soon." 

"You would now if you had gone!" His mom shouted. "People laugh at me at work. They call you a coward and say I raised you wrong." 

"And if I had died. What then... Would you be happy then. Because sending me off to war is  saying that you want me to die." Jax said back, tears in his eyes. 

"Look at you... Crying all the time. I prayed for a son that would make me proud and I got you. An emotional wreck. Be a man!" She screamed.

"I'm not going to war. And if that means you hate me than so be it." Jax said walking to his room. He collapsed on his bed. Finding it hard to breath as tears flew down his cheeks. The words be a man repeating themselves. He realised then he had an invitation to meet Cleo by the tunnels and he now wanted to go more than anything. He silently climbed out of his window and met Cleo by the tunnels.

When Jax saw her, she was wearing a skirt and her hair was let down and you could see her arms and her legs from the knee down. 

"What are you wearing." Jax asked her. 

Cleo smiled. "What ever the hell I want to." she then turned to go into the tunnel were there seemed to be a fire and Jax followed. 

Jax was confused. He had never seen anything like this. Trash cans were on fire and there were men and women who were both drunk. A lot of them had white feathers as well. 

"Jax I would like for you to meet Mathew." Jax immediately noticed the white feather on his chest as he shook his hand and Cleo walked away. 

After a while they both had a dew drinks and were now talking to each other. 

"She said be a man. What does that mean?" Jax asked.

"It means she wants you to be an emotionless robot with muscles that will go kill someone."

"That's not me." Jax said back.

"So why didn't you go join the war?" Mathew asked.

"Because I don't believe in hurting people. especially ones I've never met." Jax answered.

"You cover your feather. Why?" Mathew continued to ask questions.

"Well, to be honest, I'm ashamed. My father and brother have both gone and my mother hates me for not going." Jax looked down. 

"Every man here, has one on and not because they have to... But because they want to. And I wear it to show that I am not a me. I'm also a we, and I wear it with pride."  Mathew smiled.

But before Jax could say anything Cleo ran to the table. "The police are here." Jax ran out of the tunnels with Cleo, but Cleo was much faster than he was. They were halfway through the woods when Jax tripped up and Cleo hadn't noticed. Before Jax could get up Cleo's name was called.

Cleo looked to the right to see her grandfather walk towards her. Jax hid behind the tree and he watched her grandfather hit her so hard he knocker her of off her feet. "You pathetic girl... You are such a useless girl. Dressing like a prostitute. And going to parties late at night. Girls don't act like this. How many times have I told you. You should never disobey a man!" He hit her again and again and again until her lip was bleeding. He then dragged her by her hair all the way home. 

Jax climbed up to her window and knocked on it. Seeing Cleo on the ground with a drawing in her hand and bruises on her face. She opened the window for him and let him in. 

"Did you see?" She asked.

Jax nodded his head slowly. He then looked down and saw an empty alcohol bottle on the floor. "You drink so you don't feel pain right?" 

"Yep. My best friend died. and I'm treated like an inferior person." Cleo said, not allowing herself to cry. 

"It's okay to cry." Jax said. 

"I don't cry in front of people because I'm not weak. I'm strong." Cleo said back.

"Why do you always need to be strong?" Jax whispered.

"Because my mom lets people walk all over her. She doesn't say a thing back when my father shouts at her even though she is in the right... I don't want to be like that. I cant be like that! So you may hate me for this but I drink when I feel sad or worthless. So I don't feel." Cleo said.

"If I had your life... I would drink too." Jax said leaning his head against her shoulder.