dead girls story..." yeah I here the same shit everyday,"don't worry things will get better" really? your sure? because for the past 3 years i'v been the girl who gets called names in school,who where's long sleeves so know one can see my battles I lost. I am the girl who walks into school with my fake smile on,to keep my tears from falling. and yet people say things will get better? while all my friends are leaving me,the people I thought I trusted,hurt me. or when ever I think I'm finally getting better,someone or something comes and breaks me even more. or when I hear something that hurts me so bad,I go home and cut just to see myself bleed. or then have my parents come home when I had just cut and tell them I'm okay when I'm dead and barely breathing. I'm the girl who helps people I have there backs when no one has mine,I care too much and I get hurt </3. I'm the girl who acts to happy and having a SMILE on my face,when I really wanna scream,cut,and bleed. I care to little they'll leave,care to much I get hurt,I always am there to help everyone but in the end I get hurt and forgotten. I'm the "freak" at school. when they judge me and don't know my story,like what iv seen what iv been threw,and who I lost! do you think its easy having to hear that your old gram is dying! and there is nothing you can do about it? only hearing from your dad," there making her as comfortable as they can,its her time" do you know what that does to a girl? no u don't or to call and tell her u love her,but she is already dead,and she doesn't even remember you,and you couldnt be there for her to hold her hand and tell her everything is going to be okay? yeah it messes u up a lot. I'm so scared to let people in because I lost people I care about,I can't trust a lot of people,and I always get hurt. why do you think you know me,when u don't? u have no idea what iv done,what I can do,and who iv lost! so don't you dare say I'm beautiful till you've seen my scars! don't you dare me I'm flawless till iv completely shut you out. don't you dare tell me you won't hurt me,till you've seen who has. don't you dare tell me you'll miss me when I'm gone because when I was alive u didn't care. Dont tell me you love me because your just like the rest you'll leave,they all do. don't you dare tell me I should stay,until I have shut you out and hurt you. don't you dare tell me you'll always be there for me,when your not. don't you dare tell me "suicide is cowerdly" because you think is cowardly to push me till I can't take it anymore and think death is the only way out! Youll only start caring when I'm dead. because depression is like seeing everyone happy while u drownd slowly. don't say you know what its like to cut,until you have,don't u say u know what suicide is like,until you've tried it,and don't you dare tell me you know me,unless you are me. and don't tell me I'm worth more,until you've seen my scars that cover my body. don't say you'll never leave me,because what would u do if u found me rolled up in a ball crying with blood running down my wrist and legs,with a blade in my hand.. you'll leave trust me I know u handle a girl like me. after all no one can love a girl with scars. its not possible trust me people have tried to fix me before and only hurt them selfs. I'm too far gone for u to save me. iv tried killing myself more than u could count. iv cut so many times iv lost track.iv lost so many people I love,I don't know what to do or say anymore. I'm so lost but I keep it all in till I can't handle it and break down crying. my heart has been broken so Many times that its bearley holding on by a thred. I try to save so many people when I can't even save myself! I'm about to loose my friend justin,and I can't save him! I can't help him! I can't do anything! I can't help him.... I'm so broken I wish I could be fixed. I just wish Justin wouldn't leave me. I can't loose another person or it will push me over the edge and ill kill myself. funny how everyone says "it will be okay" when do u think I'm okay now? exactly! this pain will never stop! ill end it soon so don't you worry baby. daddy your little girl wants to kill herself. she wanted me to tell you she loves you so much,it was never your fault,she loves u so much,and that she just couldn't take it anymore,she'll always be you're little punkin and baby girl. darling your little girl is dead. I'm sorry. but she didn't hurt when she left because she was already dead,and wanted to leave. sorry to tell you this. but your little girl is gone... I hope u know she loved you. it was never your fault.ps,death. "kill yourself darling" was the last thing to push her over "don't worry I will" her friend found her laying on the floor with blood every where running down her wrist and a blade in her hand,and a note saying " I'm sorry you had to find me like this but I had to leave it was never your fault,I love u" her friend was screaming trying to save her but I was already gone,I'm sorry for leaving..."
