The Wedding

I was walking down the aisle everything seems so perfect the sun shine so bright, the flowers looks so nice, the church that I've been always dreaming, the beautiful chandelier lights that hangs up from the ceiling.

The birds are singing, the music is playing. Everything is surreal I should be happy but why am I wanting to cry?

All the people's looking at my direction looking amused and happy at the same time. I'm wearing a beautiful gown holding a bouquet of flowers at my hands.

I walked and walked each step become so big. I was stunned by the perfection of the wedding that I've been always dreamin'. I'm walking near the altar, and there I stop---- I saw the Man that I love, looking so fucking handsome, our eyes met and there my eyes becomes teary.

I suddenly remembered how we met, It was surely unexpected, It was a magical day in a right time at a right place. And how we started dating it was surely a wonderful thing. We were both so happy just wandering around figuring things out together.

I remember how he surprised me with a wedding proposal. I don't know how I will react on it back then, I was stunned and speechless, It's just too perfect. I can probably say that I was the happiest person alive that day. It felt like a dream to me, Imagine how things workout It was a beautiful fantasy like how things workout in reality.

But that day I started becoming afraid because there's nothing perfect in this world and yet I'm here living in perfection. I stopped myself from looking at the past.

Our eyes met again he look at me straight at the eye and gave me the sweetest smile I haven't seen. And there I gave up a tear started to fall down, I just smiled to hide my tears from running down.

I heard the width door of the church opened. I looked back. And I saw the most important person in my life wearing a wonderful gown with vail and a coupon of flowers within her hand. And there I saw her---
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.
.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

—My best friend wearing the biggest smile I have never seen in a while. She looks at my direction--- I want to runaway but I just can't . When our eyes met I can't help but fake a smile with my tears running down. She smiles like it's the best day of her life.

So what can I do? A lot of people's looking while I'm here crying , (and doing the best in me--- faking a smile... )

They all looked at me with the thought I'm crying out of joy but they don't know that I was just faking a smile do they really not know that I'm hurt? That I still haven't move on..?

How can this be so romantic? me walking at the aisle while the man that I love, is waiting at the altar. Everything seems so perfect right?

But it's just not me.

It's their story.

It's her--- living my fantasy.

xxxxxxxxx