100 Bleach Oneshots!

Drabble 6#: A Page Of Regret

Rukia...

Rukia Kuchiki...

A name I want to forget, a name that haunts me everyday.

I resent that name.

I wish it would disappear already, I wish I could just forget it already.

That black hair curved around her small head with the ends sticking out like an upside down plant. It was always stupid how that singular bang stuck out no matter how she did her hair.

Those big violet eyes that seemed innocent at your first encounter when meeting her but could show so many fiery emotions at once. She could pissed off at one moment but be sweet the next moment, like she had mood swings or something.

She didn't, that was just her.

That was Rukia.

She was remarkable, no one could hold her down or back - not even the law.

She wasn't your typical girl or solider. She didn't give a damn if she wore a dress or jeans and she disregarded the law in order to save a family.

And she wasn't easily forgotten by anyone.

Especially me, the damn fool addicted to her presence.

I loved seeing how she was frustrated with that singular bang. I loved all of her expression, her anger ones, her cute ones, and her embarrassed ones the most. All of them were cute like her, she was short with a petite body but a strong fist and harsh mouth surprisingly. You would have never expected it from her.

She was so different, so new.

So unexpected.

Maybe that's why I feel for her.

Maybe that's why every memory of her is engraved into my heart.

Engraved into these words on this page as the ink flows down.

Maybe I'm weird to like someone this much.

Much less a chick that is so weird and dead too.

She would hit me if she heard that. Ha.

I wonder, if I could see her again - what would I say? What would I do?

She made turn the bitterness towards my ability to see ghosts in a comforting feeling. Something I cherished and used for good and how it's gone.

I hate that. The power that I wanted to just leave has finally done that and yet I want it back.

I got my wish, right? I can live a normal life, right?

That's what I thought at first but it's so damn miserable like this. It's like I'm suffocating in my own house, my own body.

Ichigo Kurosaki...

Yeah, right.

The substitute shinigami...well, the ex-substitute shinigami now.

I can't see any spirits anymore after I used up all my spiritual energy in order to weaken Aizen so that Urahara could seal him. It's all gone, a normal life...

Karin has taken over my rule, she deals with the ghosts now. I wish her luck, they were annoying.

But, also comforting I guess.

I want my powers back, but...that's not possible right?

I want to protect people and...

I want to see Rukia again.

She haunts me, everywhere I go - she's there. In my dreams, at school, at home, hell - in my room.

This really sucks.

I can't bring myself to change anything in this room because of her.

I can't bring myself to clean out that closet she stayed in. I can't throw away her sketchbook she drew crappy drawings in.

Whenever I see Yuzu wearing those pajamas or that one dress Rukia secretly borrowed I can't help but avert my gaze and remember that time I confronted her about stealing them.

Rukia, where are you? You said even if I can't see you, you can still see me.

Do you come to visit me?

Are you near me right now?

Probably not, that's a fool's wish right?

I hate myself for liking everything about you. Even those annoying nicknames you call me.
Oh, a teardrop fell on the paper. That's bad. I shouldn't cry, right?

I have a normal life now. I can be normal!

Well, fuck everything I said before.

I don't want to be normal anymore! If I have to be a freak of nature in order to see Rukia again then I'll do it! I don't care anymore!

I just want to see Rukia...

So why is the world so cruel to take her away from me?