Darkened Minds

It's Time

Photos are the only way,

To hold onto what you knew,

Because the moments they show never change,

When the people in them do.

School bell rings

"Alright class, you are dismissed, but I want you all to think about the poem and write down your  perception of it. We will discuss more on this tomorrow." Mrs. Lyon's stated as the students began to file out of the classroom.

"Wow, today's poem was pretty deep wouldn't you say, Chlo?" Aria questioned.

Aria is my  best friend along side Elijah. Aria and I met back in first grade and clicked almost instantly. Although I don't have a sister, Aria is probably the closest thing I've got. We've even been mistaken for sisters despite our totally opposite physical features. For instance, I'm 5'9" with dark brown hair and matching brown eyes, where as Aria is 5'2" with dirty blonde hair and emerald green eyes. But apart from the un-confusing, confusion, Aria and I met Elijah in fifth grade. Of course we were never really expecting to add to our group of two, let alone a boy with potential cooties. However, Elijah somehow fit right in. He was like the puzzle piece we never knew was missing.

"Yea I guess you could say that." I said preoccupied with the fact that this was our first day of freshman year and I still hadn't figured my whole schedule out yet. Wasn't this all suppose to be handled before the school year started? Ugh, Lincoln High really isn't organized. Yes it may be a normal high school, but you would think that since they are the biggest school in the Dallas, TX area that they would take organization a little more seriously. Ugh, who am I kidding. It's my first day and I can already see that the students run a muck.

Mentally sighing

" Chloe!"

" Huh, what?"

" You were completely zoned out  and almost ran into that locker door" Aria said franticly while pointing back towards the locker, causing her to collide with Elijah.

" Oh I'm so sorry" Aria said apologetically, until she looked up only to realize it was Elijah.

" Hey Ari, maybe you should look ahead while you walk. And hasn't anyone ever told you never to look back." Elijah said jokingly while still trying to get a sarcastic philosophical question in the conversation being that he had just came from philosophy.

" Oh hush up Jolly Green Giant." Aria said jokingly, but coming off a little defensive. " And shouldn't you be heading to football tryouts?"

" Well I was headed that way until I was almost pummeled. Hey Chlo, why are you so quiet?"

" Oh sorry, I've just been a little preoccupied with everything." I said hesitantly trying to keep my answer short. I know if I talk for too long I'll say something I regret.

" Alright, well I've gotta go, but lets all meet after school at Joey's Diner?" Elijah asked.

" Sure, we'll be there." I said trying to keep myself attentive to the conversation.

Aria and I soon part ways, and I finally my algebra class after what seemed to take ages to get to.

As the class begins, I am already finding my self drifting out of the current topic about quadratic formulas. A few moments later I am deep in my own thoughts. 

Why has Aria been acting so distant lately? This summer we never hung out aside from softball practices, which don't really count. She hardly ever bothered to text me, but she practically spent the whole summer with Amilia. Every picture Amilia posted was with Aria and vise versa. However, I get to school today and she acts as though she saw me last weekend. I don't know, but I feel like we're really drifting apart. We've slowly quit hanging out, then it turned into only texting each other when we had a question about school work or an occasional outfit. Plus, I'm pretty sure that our apparent "blow up" at the end of school last year hasn't helped anything.

Flashback

" Why are you so mad at me?"  I asked inquisitively. While following Aria who was rushing into the restroom.

" I'm not mad at you!" Aria said harshly. While turning to sit on the counter, being that we were the only ones in there. She proceeded to hold her head in her hands and cover her face.

"Well it really seems like you are. I mean you won't talk to me and you ignored me during science class."

" Well maybe it's because I had nothing to say." Aria said while lifting her head off of her hands enough for her teary eyes to meet my mine. 

" Ari?" I said sympathetically. " Something really is wrong and you know that you can tell me anything." 

I walked closer to the now sobbing girl as I took a seat next to her on the counter. Placing a hand on her back, I began to rub her back hoping to calm her.

" It's... just..." she said between sobs, " Everything is happening at once. We're fixing to be in high school, you hang out with Sadie and Jules all the time and its like you're trying to forget about me, and I feel like you don't even care about our friendship."

The truth had finally spilled, but not in the way I had expected it to. And how could she possibly feel this way? Yes I've started hanging out with Jules and Sadie more, but only because she would rather be with Amilia. Not to mention that Amilia is the one who spread rumors about me which sparked an online petition "Reasons Chloe Rockwell should Die." Really? Who's true friend with hang with the person that's life goal was to make me commit suicide? But of course like typical Aria, I have to comfort her when in reality I'm hanging onto life by a six inch piece of twine.

You would think I would be use to this all by now. Aria always has a breakdown once a year. All because she doesn't want to talk about her problems, she wants to bottle them up until that bottle builds up enough pressure and it just explodes. And yes I might bottle up a few, okay most, of my emotions, but at least I don't put them on her. 

Although I have thought about finally telling Aria about my darkest thoughts and secrets, how could I possibly burden someone with such "nonsense?" And its not easy telling someone that you've secretly been abused verbally and physically in the place that's suppose to be your home, or that you've stood in front a mirror after hearing so many awful comments about your self that you've began to believe them, and with those darkening thoughts you've connected the cold, metal blade with you delicate flesh... more times than one can count. How can I tell even my best friend that I'm slowly dying mentally and physically? On second thought...

Chloe it's time to her. "Aria?" I said trying to garb her attention.

As she completely lifted her head from her hands, she met my serious and teary eyes.

" Ari, I've been hiding this from you, but... I"

The restroom door suddenly swings open 

Aria and I quickly hop off the counter and proceed to leave the restroom. Maybe this was a sign that it just wasn't the right time.

End of Flashback

The bell suddenly rings and I am snapped out of my current thoughts. Onto Biology class then.