Before the butthead - Jeremy prequel

It wasn't always like this. Nobody understand how I feel. No exact person could ever comprehend the turmoil of emotions going through in another person. Similar maybe, but never completely the same. By a long shot actually, if I were to be truly, completely, and painstakingly honest.

Everybody else began to distance themselves away from me. And I soon found myself in a state of despair. It was a moment of folly. And I blamed myself for everything since then.

I was wasted. I was in a heap of mess. So I did the most natural thing every teenager would have done. I called my dad.

But what I didn't expect to happen was that, because of me, he had gotten himself into a car accident and was pronounced death on the scene.

You might be asking me, how I am able to cope with all of these, but the truth is, I don't know. I thought I had it all in control, I never once thought that my life could have spiralled off to such an unrecognizable mess. It hurts me, hurts me to know that everybody else was silently judging me with their deadly glares that indicates that I was nothing but trouble, the girl known for causing her own dad's death.

I began to take up Smoking, and tried to follow the daily routines before my dad's unfortunate demise. I wanted everything to go back to the things it were. But, no matter how hard I really tried, it is just not something that you could cast aside as you deem fit. And I realised that the only solution was for me to get high. A solace in which I seek so desperately.

My 'friends' in school no longer talk to me, it was as though overnight, I became an outcast. I didn't kill my dad, it was an accident, and it's not like I deliberately caused the accident to happen. How is everything my fault? Why should I be blamed for it? Why should I bear the brunt of my dad's death? Why do I even have to deal with any of this?

Except one of them. My friend, Jeremy, still talks to me. He acts as a confidante to me all the time. He doesn't mind my rant, hell, he doesn't even mind that I smoke. Even though he did talk me out of it a couple of times.

I only feel real at being myself, when I am with him. Jeremy feels that I have went through something so unimaginable, that I am being exceptionally harsh towards myself. He views me like with those sympathetic glances, and I have made it clear to him that I don't want to be treated as a charity case. From that day onwards, it is as though a chord struck in both of our heads, Jeremy views me differently. He views me as his girlfriend.