RECAP;
Our breaths were quickening and the kiss was getting deeper and rougher. I felt his hands caressing my lower back, rubbing up and down and pulling me closer to him so our chests were pressed together. I didnt mind any of this until he started 'wandering'. His hands travelling to rub my arms gently, my face, my neck and my sides, moving to my stomach, and up.
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PART THREE
Not wanting to break the kiss, i moved his hands before he could touch my breasts and pushed myself closer to his chest. He tried again after a few seconds and i pushed his hands away again. Then the third time, he succeeded and grasped my breast in a gentle hold. I tried to move his hand away again, but he tightened his grip, slightly squeezing. I tried once more, to do it without stopping the kiss and his other hand began sliding up my naked thigh, to my bum and inwards, to my v***na. I decided that was the last straw and pulled away quickly. I pushed his hands away again, succeeding this time and he looked at me, his eyes wild with lust.
"i ... its getting late Ty" i said in a firm voice
"its only seven" he replied, breathing heavily and trying to lean in quickly and kiss me
"yes and i want to go home" i told him, leaning away
"but.... ok i'll get the keys" he said and left the room to get his keys.
We got in the car and he began driving, quietly. I could feel he was annoyed at me so i didnt even try to start a conversation. He took the wrong turn and began heading towards another direction, away from my place. I sensed he wanted to talk so i decided to start the conversation.
"where are we going?" i started with the obvious
"why do you keep doing this to me?" he asked, not taking his eyes off the road
"i told you Tyler i'm not ready" i replied
"why not?" he asked
"i dont know, i just... i'm not sure about this" i replied, turning to face him and begging him to understand
"you're not sure about this or about me?" he asked
"no i..."
"if i'm... not what you want just tell me" he interrupted "i'll get over it"
"what are you saying?" i asked
"i'm saying that... well... sometimes i feel like you dont... want to be with me anymore. That you dont... love me" he said
"what so you're saying if i loved you i'd do it with you?" i asked, getting annoyed
"its been two years Megan what are you waiting for?" he asked
"you know what? i'm starting to think you only want me for sex" i was angry now
"if i did i would have tried to do it with you a long time ago" he replied calmly and in a low voice
"how do i know you wont leave me the second i do it with you?" i demanded
"because i love you" he said
"oh do you?" i snapped
"yes and i'm prepared to spend the rest of my life with you if you still want me" he answered
"then why do you want to have sex so bad if you're willing to wait for your whole life?" i asked
"i haven't done it in two years. I've waited for two years Megan and you're still not ready!" he snapped, stopping the car to face me "what are you waiting for?"
"i dont know! The right moment?" i yelled, dramatically throwing my hands in the air
"more like the right guy" he mumbled loudly
"what is up with you these days Tyler i feel like i dont know you anymore"
"ugh" he groaned and punched the steering wheel
"see that?" i asked, pointing at the steering wheel "this is what you're like these days. Always getting mad at me and pressuring me for something i dont want to do. What kind of love is that?" i asked
"Megan! its been TWO YEARS!" he snapped
"that doesn't matter!" i snapped right back "what if i get pregnant? Have you ever thought about that?"
"i'd take care of you" he replied, calm "... and....tha baby"
"you dont know that because we haven't done it yet. You're just saying that so i swallow my fears and have sex with you. How do you know that after doing it, you wont loose interest and move on" i asked and tears came into my eyes. I couldnt believe we were actually fighting about this
"well if telling you i love you isn't enough, then how about this... i promise i wont leave you and i'll be with you until you tell me that you dont want me anymore" he said
"i'm not ready Tyler" i said in a low voice, giving up "why cant you understand that?" he sighed deeply
"i'm scared of what'll happen. I really dont want to loose you" i sobbed and realised i was crying. He looked at me as i lowered my head to look at my fingers and lifted my chin up, using his fingers.
"i love you" he whispered wiping away my tears "and i'm sorry"
He brought his lips down on mine and gave me a gentle comforting kiss, then pulled me into a comforting hug. I dont know why but i couldnt stop crying. Tears kept on coming, one after the other, and flowing down my cheeks and onto Tyler's shirt.
"i hate that you're crying because of me" he whispered, kissing my head "i'm so stupid"
"its ok" i sniffed, "you're right. I should be ready by now. I'm sorry"
"no you shouldn't do it if you're not ready. I'll wait for you" he said pulling me closer
"thanks" i said, snuggling into a more comfortable position on his chest and lying there quietly. I was glad this fight was over. That he'd wait for me. And that he was willing to spend the rest of his life with me. That he loved me that much and waited for two years for me.
We stayed like that for a long time. Me lying on Tyler's chest while we both looked up into the beautiful dark sky. No talking, just enjoying the moment. After about an hour or two, he drove me home, then gave me a proper goodnight kiss before i got into the house. I had to say, i'd missed those proper kisses. Just making out without going too far and fighting again. It felt good to have my old Tyler back.
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