My day consisted of the same damn routine everyday. Wake up early every single day, make it through another day of school, then rehearsals for the fall play we were doing. I was finally starting to feel more comfortable in theater by around September and October. Riley had an issue with her class schedule and had to drop out of theater. Of course I was mad at this because I basically only joined for her sake, but I still had Sam to keep me company. I was making more friends pretty fast because of all of the time we spent with eachother at rehearsals. Life was going very well! My grades were good, I was finally starting to make friends, and I was comfortable with myself for once in my life.
One day my theater teacher, Mrs. Cook, asked the class if a few people could come in over the weekend to help repaint the stage to make it look cleaner. We had a pretty wimp-ass theater compared to the other schools in the area. So we tried our best to make it look somewhat decent. I decided I should come to keep getting to know some people and spend some time trying to make friends without the help of Sam. Most of the friends I had in the class were people to became friends with Sam and eventually got to know me more as we all hungout together. But, I needed to learn how to make friends on my own. I went the the stage painting that Saturday and pretty much barely knew the people who decided to show up. I was a bit uncomfortable at first, but luckily everyone in there was so welcoming towards me. I did my business and helped sweep the stage to get it ready to paint. We all helped out to prepare for the actual painting.
After I finished sweeping, I walked towards the end of the stage to get off and put the broom away, when I noticed that guy named Devin approaching me. He was looking right at me with his arms wide open. Does he want a hug? I looked behind me to make sure he wasn't looking at someone else, and sure enough I was the only one there. I've seen him hug many other of the students before, so I didn't really think much of it as I walked up to him and hugged him back. Because of the height of me on the stage compared to him on the ground made my boobs go directly into his face while I basically just hugged his head. It was really weird, and he was lingering... He finally let go and I just awkwardly smiled at him and walked off the stage.
For the rest of October, he would do random small things that showed affection in some way. Simple things like when I would get up to go home, I would say goodbye to my friends and he would just say, "No goodbye for Devin?" with a little sad puppy face, or just give me a "hand hug" when I would leave. I never thought anything of these little gestures. For one, I thought he was a player, and I was also in love with Jeremy still. We talked everyday, and even though my feelings for him died down a little more each day, I still felt those annoying "things".
I still didn't consider him as a friend to be honest. I merely just considered him an aquaintance. He was just another student in another one of my classes. I never thought about him, and honestly thought he was kind of weird. He eventually started sitting next to me and Sam in class, but I just figured I was because him and Sam were friends. He say next to me so often that I eventually started to expect him to sit next to me, I would even save his usual seat next to mine until he came to class. I didn't tell anyone about this, but I kind of enjoyed the company. He was fun. I enjoyed talking to him and he was a pretty funny guy. I denied any feelings. Sometimes I would even ask myself if I was starting to like him, but my heart would just keep nagging at me and saying, "No, you love Jeremy. You don't have any feelings for anyone but him." So I denied every single butterfly I felt towards Devin, but I did start to wonder if he liked me.
One day some girls in the row infront of us were gossiping about something completely irrelevant, and one of them named Kiley turned around and said, "Hey Devin, don't you have a girlfriend?" I looked at him a little confused.
"Yeah." He said completely monotone and didn't seem phased at all.
"What's her name again?" another girl named Tammy asked.
"Amber." he simply stated and went back to doing some homework. Amber? Amber Miller? I know her. I used to go to church with her, we were really good friends just about a year or two ago. Even though I didn't like him, my heart kind of sank a little when I heard him say that he had a girlfriend. Am I sad? Disappointed? I didn't know how I felt, but it didn't feel good. Maybe he doesn't like me, he might just think of me as a friend....I don't care, though. I don't like him. Right?
After finding out about him dating Amber, I pretty much lost all interest and went back to Jeremy. Devin clearly didn't like me that way. He just kind of went back to being and aquaintance, if he was ever even a friend to me before. We didn't act like friends, he just sat next to me, that's it. He continued to sit next to me everyday, but I decided to talk with Sam more, and one of my other friends named Konrad. I quickly began to pretty much forget Devin again, and went back to hanging out with my other theater friends. I was pretty content.
About a week later, I found out that my best friend from elementary school, Nora, was moving back to my city and was going to be living with me. Her mom apparently had a really big problem with her ex boyfriend who she moved in with. She was basically homeless and her and my mom were best friends, so my mom happily agreed to let them move in until she was able to get back on her feet. I was obviously ecstatic, I mean, ever since we became friends in third grade, I wanted to live with her. We were basically like sisters, we loved eachother but hated eachother the same time because we were always together. SHe wasn't too excited about moving in with me and moving away from her friends at her other school, but I was so happy to have her back in my life after three years of never seeing eachother.
We were all at school one day with Nora, Sam, and our friends Katie, Amy, Jamie, and Sandy and talking about our "types". Nobody knew I was basially in love with some guy they never met in Texas, so I would just go along with what they would be saying. When it came to Nora, she mentioned that she mainly likes nerdy white guys, but there was a black guy at her old school who she was kind of into. I immediately spoke up and said, "I'm not really into black guys honestly. I've just never liked them. I like white guys a lot more. I'm also really into buff guys, but not too buff. just perfectly in between skinny and big."
"No, I can definitely see you with a black guy." Katie simply stated. Everyone began agreeing and started speaking over eachother loudy about how they could all definitely see me with a black man.
"Oh my gosh, it's so true!" Jamie screamed and burst into laughter.
"What? No, I will never like a black guy. There's just something about them I don't like." I said.
"Nope, I'm calling it. You're going to date a black guy someday." Katie said laughing with Jamie.
