The Hospital looked bleak that day. Death and disease everywhere. All the commotion - moving carts, rolling wheelchairs, rushing nurses, panicking patients; it all did nothing but add to the dullness. Alexandra found everything grey. Why wouldn't she? After all, her entire world was wrapped in pain. It didn't matter that she had the highest score in med school. It didn't matter that she was the most sought after neurologist in the region. Pain still hurt. Words still stung.
"There has been some major complications in the 4112 case" Dr Campbell grumbled."Norman was afraid of a CVA. Its a bad case of sickle"
"Robin" Alexandra interrupted him abruptly.
"What? "
" The girl's name is Robin." Alexandra stated, looking out of the huge glass window. The ever present coldness that blanketed her persona magnified exponentially. It took Norman some strength to not flinch.
That is how Alexandra was for the rest of the world. Cold, hard and unforgiving.
She was the daughter of a rich man who decided that he didn't want her mother. He left and never looked back. He left knowing that it wasn't just Emily he was leaving. But he didn't care. Not that day.
Alexandra did not wear Gucci or Dior. She did not own Louboutins. She did not drive a Bentley, nor did she live in the poshest part of town.
Yet she outdid all the men and women in fancy clothes and cars. Everyone felt the need to straighten up their spine when Alexandra walked in. Even when she scrubbed tables to put food on the table, she unnerved the people around her. Just like watching a Queen scrub floors tends to make people around her uncomfortable. Except Alex was no queen. She was no goddess.
Nothing in life came easily to Alexandra. Emily was too heartbroken to pay heed to Alexandra when she was born. She tried to get an abortion but didn't have the nerve to finally go through with it. Alexandra had her mother and still didn't have her. She fended for herself from when she was 10. Helping little shops around, getting a little money. Assisting old Mrs Smith with gardening and getting invited to dinner was an everyday thing. Mrs Smith somehow managed to find a new excuse everyday to get her over for dinner. It was more out of pity than love. Alexandra knew it, but didn't say anything. She was not in the position to refuse.
When Alexandra was fifteen Emily got pregnant with Lucas. She didn't make it when the baby was born. A distant relative took Lucas and Alexandra away. Life went from bad to horrible. Alexandra waited for three years. She could take all the stingy words, she could 'help' around the house all the time. She couldn't bear to see Lucas crying. Lucas turned two, her eighteen. Alexandra left with Lucas.
She sat at a bus stop for the night. Lucas was asleep. That night Alexandra cried. She let her tears fall silently as the hugged her over worked self. She cried for love, she cried for warmth.
And then she straightened her back, wiped her tears and went forward to survive. A new Alexandra was born that night.
Alex juggled jobs as she became a mother to Lucas while she completed her education. She was a waitress at a shabby diner, a bartender at a dingy bar, a tutor for the rich kids who didn't need an education to make it in the world. She had a two year old to support. She wanted to give him the best she could. It wasn't much.
She came home exhausted and spent and then picked up the battered toys to play with her brother. This was all she could offer Lucas. It wasn't much.
Alexandra had always been brilliant, incandescent even. So getting a scholarship to university didn't come as a surprise. The authorities looked into her case. She was a destitute genius with a kid to look after. They decided to help her. A rent-free studio apartment was given out to her. It was tiny, almost like a room on the roof with a washroom and a cooking corner. She had to assist her professors in return. It was a nice bargain. Alexandra went for it.
Alex completed her undergrad in two years. She was a student by day, a waitress by evening and a bartender by night. In between jobs she came in to cook for Lucas, pick him up from his school, and put him to bed.
Lucas understood Alex, he understood her constant fight and helped her by not being difficult even when he was alone for most of the day. Lucas, just like Alexandra, grew up young. He understood that his sister was trying really hard to hold things together. He could tell that she was tired from all the shouting she had to endure from all the different bosses that she had. He could tell that she was exhausted. So he tried his best to not add to her worries. He didn't ask for toys even when he really really wanted something because he knew it was impossible for Alex to get him anything more than what she got him. He knew she would beat herself up. He didn't want that. He wanted her to be happy.
But even to the little boy it was becoming clear how nothing in life came easily.
