Thinking your thoughts

Jessica

Hey guys! I'm jumping right to when Jessica and Hope are waiting in her apartment in this chapter.

     I felt completely drained as I waited. I could tell Hope was fatigued as well. She looked shaky, and... who wouldn't be. I understand what she is going through, but I have no clue how to help her. I'm not good with people. I can't comfort people like Trish can. She would know how to help her. How to tell her it's not her fault, it was him, not her. I want to give her what I didn't have, someone who understood. But I have no idea where to start.
      "It's my fault." She mumbled. I look up , startled. To lost in my thoughts to notice her looking at me. I guess this is the perfect opportunity. Or at least the best I'm going to get.
      "No." I say firmly. I didn't want that thought in her mind for one second, "No, it's not. It's kilgrave. It was all him. None of it was you. You had no choice.". I was desperate to get her to understand, "Don't let him have that power over you. Don't give him anything. Not even your guilt. It's his fault, not yours." I take a deep breath as I finish. She looks skeptical and scared.
      "Say it." I state, leaving no room for debate. She has to get it in her mind. I'm not going to let kilgrave hurt her like he hurt me anymore. "Say... say what?" she manages to choke out. "Say it's not your fault." I reply, standing up. She takes a unsteady breath, "It's... it's not m-my... my fault.". I nod and make eye contact with her, "Again. Say it again.". She sits up straighter, "It's not... not my fault." She repeats. "It's not my fault." She whispers. She looks haunted. I know that will stay with her for some time. I want to do everything I can to help her. Kilgrave hurt her to get to me. He's never going to do it again.
      I kinda zoned out as Hope's parents came. It had been an exhausting day, emotionally and physically. All I wanted was a drink and sleep. I need to talk to them, explain as best I could. They hug her fiercely... it could wait. I doubt any of us are in any kind of emotional state to deal with it. Hope needed to go home. They all need a good nights sleep.
        I watch them go out the door towards the elevator. Hope glanced back at me every few paces they walked. I couldn't help but wonder why. Did she not want to go home? I can't believe that's true. They got into the elevator. Hope was staring at me. Why was she still looking at me? Then she pulled the gun out.
       A million thoughts raced through my head. I sprinted down the hall. No, no, no. How could I have been so stupid?! I ran as hard as I could, barreling straight into the steel doors. I pushed of towards the stairs right as the first gunshot sounded. And then another. And another. Panic ripped through me. I half-sprinted, half-tripped down the stairs, shots ringing in my ears. I make it down the stairs right as the elevator came down.
       It opens to a horror movie scene. I've never seen so much blood. The bodies... the look of horror etched on their faces... and then there was Hope. Blood was spattered across her face, her clothes. The gun was still in her hands, she drops it in horror. The look on her face, as if she was going to die of hurt right then and there. She screamed and screamed.
       I turn away and start walking. I don't know where, just away. Somewhere I don't have to think. About kilgrave, or Hope, or the two people I just got killed. And that was certainly my fault.
Thanks for reading guys! I hope you liked! please comment your thoughts and how I can improve.