I lay on the couch, curled up in a ball, and hugging my chest. I stare at the ceiling, but I can’t even focus enough to count the seconds that pass. My mind is swirling, my emotions like a whirl wind. Spiralling, tumbling, something I can never grasp. You are my friend, but I want more. I see you almost every day, and I have early on accepted the fact that that’s all I can ever ask for. A friend I will always be there for, will do anything for, without explanation. I have accepted it, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it. I love you enough that I will never try anything; never force you into that situation, no matter how many times I fantasize about it. Oh Seung-Hyun, I wish you could know, I wish you could understand, and I wish you could feel the same. But I will settle for friendship, for I cherish every moment I see you smile, every moment I am with you. My eyes flicker to the clock, and my heart skips a beat. You will be here any moment now. I swing my legs of the couch, and sit up, I wait. I bite down lightly on my bottom lip as I wait for the sound of your arrival. It feels like the seconds have turned to hours, but I will wait. I hear a distinct knock at the door. You knock only once, for you know that’s all you need to do. I always hear you. I all but leap from the chair, and walk quickly to the door. I had unlocked it earlier, so I wouldn’t have to waste any time. My hand reaches for the handle, while my heart flutters. Pulling it open I look up at your gorgeous form, standing there, smiling down at me. You are so tall, so strong. The way you carry yourself makes you look like you could take on anything, and win. I can’t help it; a huge smile spreads across my face as I met your eyes. Those beautiful eyes. They are dark, but they hold so much emotion. I have seen them filled with compassion, sadness, happiness, and every time I look into them, I see everything I could ever want. Those amazing eyes, they make me freeze. I don’t know how, but I manage the strength to look away, if only long enough to let you in. We do not speak; we have done this so many times we do not bother. I follow you back through the house, you know it so well, and have once said it is like your second home. I had not stopped smiling after that comment. You sit down on the couch where I just laid, just thought about you. I sit down next to you, and I need to tilt my head back to meet your eyes.
“How have you been Ji Yong?” You ask, general interest in your eyes, you cannot lie to me, I know you to well, and it takes all my strength to hide my true feelings from you. I smile, it is only a little smile, but you smile back.
“I have been good. I finished writing my new song.” I wrote it about you, but I could never tell you that.
“May I see it? You always write beautifully.” I blush, I can’t see it, but I know my cheeks have gone a bright red. Oh Seung-Hyun, why must you tease me like this? You don’t realize it, but those kinds of comments drive me crazy. But I don’t want you to stop. I like it when you tease me; you always know the right words. I drop my eyes, looking down to my lap. My blonde hair falls over my eyes, and I hope you don’t notice the happiness spreading across my face. I hear you laugh, it is only a slight laugh, but it is the most beautiful sound.
