The Love Of A Demon

The Demons Heart

Is it bad?
Is it bad if I surrender myself to the reaper?
Is it bad if I surrender myself to the pain, if I surrender my heart to the demons within me?
I know that you know my feelings about you. I know that you have awaited my confession and you don't want that day to come just as much as I don't. What happens when I do or if I did. Will you leave as fast as I think. I told you how I feel about you, how much you make me smile, how much I think about you and how much I'm willing to do for you. I save you the feeling of uncomfortability and pain of saying "I don't feel the same" or "I can't". I don't want to put you in that feeling because of me. It's because I'm not worth it. I'm not your type and we might never be a thing. But before I'm gone I want you to know that I wanted you, and even though you weren't mine I still treated you like you meant the world to me. I think my departure is of the becoming of my new self. But as much as it hurts, out of all the things I've ever been through, losing my family, my father, my friends, my sister. This is gonna be the worst, you seem to underestimate how much you mean to me. I didn't like you for how you look, I like you for what you have done, you loved a broken soul, you loved me. And in me I will forever cherish what you've showed me for the rest of my life, I will forever remember the feeling of your hugs, your cuddle, and i will forever remember your love that you've place in my heart. I'm sorry I've grown so close to you. I'm sorry for loving you as much as I've ever done. I'm sorry for loving the person who showed me what it felt like to feel again. But a part of me will never forget what you've once showed me and it breaks my heart to see you with someone else, but I'm happy for you. I'm happy you are able to find love, and I'm happy you are able to see the light that you once showed me. I'm sorry that I will eventually have to leave. I'm sorry that I put you through this. I'm sorry that I couldn't be yours, but it's a part of life. I guess through all the pain I've been through you start yo learn, you start to learn that love isn't just happiness and peace. Love is destruction and pain, but then we all ask why do we love if it's just pain and hurt, and that's because it's not what it does that makes it beautiful it's how it does it, love can destroy everything but the way it destroys is beautiful. I believe I'm that guy we talked about. I'm that guy who helps everyone find love and helps make happiness in everyone's heart, but for someone like me who does it so much, I will never have a happy ending, because i saw you as my only happy ending. As I sit and burn for the people I love so I can see them smile makes me just hurt a little less but it breaks me down and beats me to the floor knowing that helping people I love just destroys me in the end because whether I like it or not, i will forever be destroyed, I will be beat by all my demons, all I can do before I perish is help the lost, and help the lonely and help people find love that they have always desired, only if it was meant for everyone, but I guess that's what life is, life is love. So what is a man without love, what is a man without life, I am in an unbeatable pain helping the ones I love as I don't ask for anything in return the one thing that made me smile everyday has now left and I can't do anything about it, if my love wnast enough what will my words do. Maybe I was born to hurt. Maybe I want meant to have a happy ending. Maybe I'm not supposed to find love. Maybe I'm just supposed to sit and watch life fade away as people use what I have left, maybe once I've lost all my love that I've gave people my heart will hurt me. Maybe once I'm gone people will realize how much I tried to do for them. Maybe once I'm gone everyone will be happier, maybe once I'm gone everyone will find the one thing I never was given. Maybe once my life is over is when people will realize. But by then it will be to late. I just hope, you are happy because I love you and I will never let you out of my heart. So if this message gets out, these may be my final words, this is my end, thisbis my story, and i loves someone who never loved me the same way back, maybe this is the end, my story finally comes to a final chapter, maybe I will finally be able to rest without pain. I just hope you have a happy life, I don't want you to worry about me, I just hope your happy because your happiness means more to me than my own does, I hope you understand how much I love you, if this message gets out, there's are my final words, I just hope that you understand my pain, i how all the times you called me a cry baby you finally understand why I've cried, it was the pain from how much I love you, so goodbye, will you forever be in my heart even after death. I love you.