i can't live if you love him- d.t. [completed]

chapter four

*hannah's pov*

I walked into the cafeteria and sat down at a table with Ethan. We were going to study for our science final that was later in the afternoon. "Hey Ethan," I said sleepily.

"Hey Han the Man," he laughed. One time he called me Hannah Banana, and I told him that I hated that nickname, so he came up with "Han the Man" instead and it sort of stuck.

"We got so much snow on Saturday. Did you go sledding at all yesterday?" Ethan asked, almost as if he already knew the answer. Damn, it was like he was reading my mind.

I didn't want to lie to him more than I already was. "Yeah, I went with one of my friends actually."

"Cool. Grayson went too."

"So what did you do?" There was this awkward tension between us, like he knew something.

"Not much. Just went to the movies with Grayson."

"Cool."

***

When Ethan and I finished studying, I grabbed my stuff and headed to Taco Bell. We have open campus during finals, so I was meeting up with my friends for lunch.

I walked inside and saw all of my friends at a table with their food. I overheard Alyssa say "choke," followed by everyone's usual response of "gladly."

I said hi, set down my stuff, got food, and came back to the table.

"These nachos are so good," Lucas said in the middle of eating. "Nachos are the best."

The whole table nodded in agreement.

"You know what else is the best?" Meg asked.

"Let me guess," Sammy replied, "orange juice?"

"Ye. Orange juice is the new tea."

"Speaking of orange juice," I interrupted, "I have some. So you know how Ethan has a crush on me?"

"Yeah," everyone said.

"So he invited me to come to dinner with his family for his birthday. And Grayson's birthday."

"Do you have a crush on Grayson?" Kaylie asked. I felt like everyone could read my mind lately.

"More than a crush."

"More than a crush?" Lucas asked a little jealously. He's had a small thing for Grayson.

"Yeah, sorry Lucas. I know you like him."

"It's ok. I'm happy for you. And I don't think he liked me back anyway."

"So, I'm not really sure what to do. I want to tell Ethan the truth about me and Grayson, but I know he'd be devastated."

"If Ethan really cares about you, he'll be happy for you and Grayson," Sammy said. She always knew what to say.

"Yeah, he's lucky to have you as his best friend," Brooke added in.

"Oof, I don't know," Meg commented. "As a good friend, he should be happy for you, but, I mean, you're into his twin."

"Yeah, he probably won't take that lightly," Alyssa added.

"I say don't tell him," Kaylie answered. "If you do, he'll be a total mess."

"You're in a pretty good spot actually," Brooke responded. "You're best friends with one twin and dating the other. Do whatever you think feels best."

"Thanks guys," I said, "I'll think about it."

We finished up lunch and I headed back to the high school to take my science final.

Later that night, I was thinking about what everyone had said. Ethan should be happy for me. But if he found out about me and Grayson, he really would be a mess.

I can't tell him.