What do you do if you can't sleep? What do you do if you feel like your drowning? What do you do when you feel weak?
Smoke.
I needed it. I craved it. It made me, me.
If I didn't smoke I would be dead. I guess that why I go to a support group huh? Maybe I should have been more careful when talking on the phone when my parents are listening huh? I guess I should do a lot of other things besides smoke. Sure it eases the crave but, did it really make my life better? That was a question that would shortly be answered by him.
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"Abi!" My mom screamed. Welcome to my life where screaming is the only way we communicate in this house. "What the fuck do you want?" I shouted back. "Don't use that god damn tone with me young lady! Now are you ready to go to your support group?" My mom said more calmer now. Yes you heard it. I am in a support group. Not for starving myself or doing drugs like most teenagers now days. I go because I smoke.
*Flashback*
"God damn it Molly! Did you get the cigreattes or not?" I screamd through the phone. I gripped to it so tight my knuckles turned white. "No-o no yet Abi. But i'm trying I really am." Molly whimpered through the phone. I huffed. "Molly if you don't get it in a week you are so in for it when I see you again." I didn't even wait for a reply I just hung up.
*End of flashback*
"Abi? Abi are you even listening to me?" My mom's voice snapped me out of my thoughts. "Oh yea sorry. I'm ready to go now." We went out of the house and got in the car. "You know mom, I don't understand why I have to go here everyday for a hour. Its pure tourture. I mean I know smoking is wrong but, when I did it I had higher grades than I do now wand I was nicer to people. It just like relieived some stress I guess." I told her. "Well you go here because you're only 16. You shouldn't be smoking. Well at least not yet. You know Abi, I always thought that you were a good girl but when I found out what you were doing behind your father and I's back I was honestly crushed. I felt like my whole world had stopped. I just don't want to lose you to something terrible honey. I just want the best for you, thats all i've ever wanted for you." When my mom was fnished she was in tears.
I felt awful.
I was only smoking to help me but, I had never thought about other people and what they would think about me. I guess that might have been a good idea.
"I'm so sorry mom. I'm trying to get better." I lied right through my teeth. I wasn't trying to get better. In fact I was worst then I had every been before.
What my mom didn't know was that I was still smoking. I was getting it from kids at my school. No one knew though. No one knew that I was smoking. Well everyone but me I suppose. My thoughts were interupted when the car stopped. I took a look out the window and saw that we were there. Great. It took all of my might to pull myself up and out of the car to the door. I hated this place. It had always made me feel like I was a crimanal. But I guess it was for the best. I sighed and opened the door.
My mom and I went to the front desk. "Hello. How may I help you today?" Asked the desk clerk. "We are here for the support group that starts at three." My mother stated. "Alright just sit here and you can go in, in about ten more minuites. The group before you is running late. Sorry about that miss." The clerk finshed. My mom waved her off and we sat down. I was anxouis. I didn't want to go in. It was like hell. Wait no. It was worst then hell.
I was looking around and looking at everyone who was sitting down and waiting as well. There was about three other people in the room. Huh. Some of them must have ditched. Lucky bastards.
My mom laughed. "Whats so funny mom?" I asked. "You were thinking out loud dear. Now I know you want to ditch but you can't. Just trust me this will help you and things will get better. I know you are in the dark know but just wait the dark doesn't last forever." She repiled. I blushed and thanked her. "You know mom. I know i'm messed up and stuff but I think that things will hopefully get better soon. i can already see it now!" I exclaimed. Crap. Another lie; When was this going to end? Damn. She smiled and rubbed my hand. We were still waiting and it has been past ten minuties, more like twenty. Gosh I am bored. I picked up a magazine and it had an article about smoking in it.
I know I shouldn't be reading this kind of stuff but I couldn't help myself so I opened up to page nine where it had said to go.
Smoking and what affects it has on you and your body.
By: Clair Monez
Smoking. It eases a lot of people and makes them think that they are living the good life when they really aren't. No matter how many laws that are passed saying that smoking is ilegal people just don't stop. What affects does it have on your body you may ask? Well keep reading cause i'm here to tell you what they are.
Smoking it can make you die. Now I know that kind of blunt but, its true. It blackens your heart and kills you from the inside out. And you smell like smoke all of the time to. Is that what you want?
No its not.
Do you really want your kids to grow up with smoke in their lungs? If you smoke around them then they might as well be smoking themselves. Do you know how bad it is for you? Well incasue you still don't know I even interviewed some people about smoking and here's what they had to say.
"Smoking. One word. But so many deaths it can cause. It seem almost harmless. But its not. I had a son that smoked. And it killed him. He wwas dead within five years. It was slow and painful but, no one could see it. Maybe it was becaue he hid it so well, that I just do not know. So please just don't smoke." -Alshia Wood (58 New Jeresy)
"Don't do it! Its bad for you. I'm trying to quit now and its very hard. So just don't start please." -Jamie Fox (36 Texas)
"What do I think about smoking? Its stupid so don't do it." -Bryan Shear (24 New York city)
So even though some of these are long and some of them are short you should still listen to them. -Alex Tye (Reporter)
When I finshed I was in tears. "Whats wrong honey?" My mom asked. "N-nothing." I stuttered. She nodded it off but, I don't think that she really belieleved me.
'Lets go honey its time to go in now." I nodded and stood up. "I'm gonna go now sweetie I have some shopping to do. Call me when you are done please. Love you." My mom said. "Love you too." And she left.
I walked in the room and sat down.
We began."So hello everyone I hope you all have been good. its been awhile sicence i've seen you all." Jerron the guide said. Then a guy came in. "Excuse me but, who are you?" Jerron asked.
"Luke."
