Diamonds and Why Men Buy Them [Mike Fuentes]

18. The Day After

I don't make it home that night. I stay in the same spot. I don't sleep, I don't cry. I just sit in the silence and stare at the wall. I don't even think. Thinking hurts. Everything hurts. My face hurts, my body hurts. The city starts to wake up and as soon as I see someone pass the alleyway, I try to stand. It hurts, but I manage it and I slowly walk home. The whole way there I just hope that Mike is sleeping. I can't deal with him right now. I don't to see anyone. I want to lay in my bed. I want to figure out what I did wrong, why that happened.

I make it home and realize I don't have my keys because I went with Mike so I expected to come back with him. I try the door and it's locked. I just sigh and sit in the hallway next to the door. I don't want to wake Mike up. I don't want him to see me like this. Thankfully, brunette decides to wake up and dip out. She sees me sitting there and shoots me a embarrassed smile before quickly walking down the hallway.

I quietly go inside and head straight to the shower. I was hoping the shower would be refreshing and make me feel better, but the water stings and more blood than wanted pours from my body onto the shower floor. I almost feel like crying again, but I stop myself. Tears don't help me. Emotion doesn't help me. Feelings aren't real. I feel my stone exterior building back up. I clean myself up, getting the dirt and dried blood off my face, cover my wounds, and scurry to my bedroom.

I put on a big t-shirt and lay in my bed. I think about trying to sleep, but every time I close my eyes I see his face, and him thrusting on top of me. I think of his words, his rough hands on me, his bite, his slap. I can't escape it no matter what I do.

Sooner than later, Mike comes into my room to wake me up, but is surprised when I'm already awake. He sits down in front of my matress. "So how was your night?"

I stay silent, and contemplate whether I want to tell him or not. I keep a hand on my face so he doesn't see my lip. I just look around the room as he waits for an answer.

He sighs. "Are you mad at me?" I just shake my head no. He looks surprised. "Oh, well that's good. When did you get home? I know you weren't here when Faye and I got back." I shrug as I continue to avoid eye contact. He looks sad and gets up. "I guess I'll leave you alone then."

I keep my hand over my mouth and flip over. I hear a sigh as my door closes.