beach time memories

My Beach Memories

Running across the beach, sand in my toes, the memories came back one by one. I remembered the way I used to run along these exact shores. Sprinting, trying to chase the seagulls that swiftly flew above me, so gracefully in the wind talking to one another with their screeching and wailing. The happiness I felt as a child was filling me up. Making me smile from ear to ear. The waves were colliding into one another, not having a care in the world where they ended up. Every time the waves splashed on me, my skin tingled with goose bumps feeling like there was ice melting and trickling down my back. It made me feel invigorated, but also so comfortable.

The wind was picking up, tumbling around me, dancing through the sand weed. It moved the weed around, wrapping itself in it like a coat. The breeze carried the sea through my nose and my hair, distributing the salt around me like an aura. I felt so alive, so at one with nature as for a moment I was transported back in time to my childhood.

Sunlight , sparkling on the white horses on the waves, glistening onto my skin. It was warming me on the outside as well as within. I just stood there; it felt like hours had passed even though I knew it was only seconds. Time just seemed to stop, it felt as if I had gone to another world where time was non existent but it was still there waiting, pushing to get in and conquer the contentment I had only just found. The wall I had built around myself was coming down, brick by brick, one by one.

When I opened my eyes, the light seeping back into view, I turned around.

I knew what I wanted to see. I wanted to see my grandmother at the top of the beach, waiting for me to finally reach her after running for hours. I knew she wouldn't be there. I knew it but I didn't want to believe it. I wished differently. I imagined seeing her waiting for me, the gentle flow of air brushing through her short silvered hair. Her smile growing as she saw me come up from over the hill. Those were the memories I wished I still experienced. The dream of seeing her still there was so alive in my mind it felt real. It had to be real. I needed it to be real.

My happiness started to fade when reality came knocking. The clouds began to swarm around the sun like bees to their honey. My mood was plummeting by the minute; the joy was draining out of me, as was the colour in my cheeks. My stomach dropped as I fell to the ground, the wet sand soaking my worn shorts. I just stayed there, a blank expression frozen upon my face. I saw people pass me, staring, wondering why I was just sat in the wet sand. I didn't care what they thought. I could only think of one thing, one person.

The darkness was seeping in, dripping into all of my body. My heart turned cold and frozen, I couldn't break out of this shell, it was solid and kept growing.

It started to rain, but I still sat there, still not moving a muscle; the rain trickling down my skin, mixing with my tears. It felt like their was a dark cloud hovering and thwarting my judgement of my own emotions. All I could feel was my sorrow cascading down like a waterfall. Nothing less, nothing more. Eventually, I knew I would feel nothing at all and even though that would be good, I would never lose the hope that she was still here with me. Laughing, smiling, eating ice cream, we could be doing anything at all and I wouldn't care so long as I was with her.