Dove Too Deep

Chapter 18

The conversation had come to an abrupt halt. Carter had ordered a vegan cheeseburger (whatever the hell that was) and had been focusing on his appetizer of Sweet Potato Fries.

Cat sighed. She'd apologized, but it seemed as though nothing Cat could say was going to be enough for the boy. He had been acting as if Cat didn't exist, and although Cat knew that her son had difficulties with communication and relationships with others, this was getting to be too much. She slammed her hands on the table; shocking the young man. "Damn it, Carter, I'm your MOTHER!" She growled.

Carter raised an eyebrow. "Then why haven't you been acting like it for the past three years?"

Cat was taken aback... she'd only left for two years? "Three?" She croaked.

The younger man nodded. "Three."

"How?"

The boy's brow rose. "You weren't yourself for like six months before you decided to ditch me at dad's and vanish." He said bluntly like he always did... it was just who he was, and Cat was proud to say that he got that from her. "You were all mopey and snappy and acted like the world was going to collapse if you weren't constantly distracted by work. You missed my band concerts, and my chess tournaments. Mom, you were a mess. You have been for a long time." He paused, and Cat's heart ached... she really shouldn't have tried to raise Carter, she'd genuinely been worse to him by staying in his life than she had been to Adam... and she'd abandoned him altogether. "It's because of her, isn't it?"

Cat avoided her baby's eyes in shame. Then she had a realization. "How would you have felt?"

Carter furrowed his brow. "What?"

"Carter, I know that I have been a horrible mother to you, and I'm sorry. I am. But you seemed to understand my predicament because you said yourself that it'd kill you if you lost Elijah... Well, I didn't even think I could ever have Kara, to begin with... I had to watch her make googly eyes with my former head photographer, and then I had to leave my damn company to him. Every time I came back, she was with someone... I had to stare at the love of my life, with a smile on my face and pretend that being near her wasn't agony. I know that I should have brought you with me, or at least made more of an effort to see you; I know that, and I regret not doing that. But Carter, I'm here now. I'd like to remain in contact; I want to fix us before it's too late."

Carter clenched his jaw. "You put her before me."

Cat didn't know what to say because it was true... She had put Kara before Carter. Multiple times. And she knew that most mothers would frown upon that, and degrade her for it... but she couldn't help it. Carter and Adam may own part of her heart, but Kara owned the rest of it and every other part of her as well. "I did. I don't know why I'm not as maternal as other mothers, but I did... I put Kara first."

Carter nodded as he took another bite of his food. "I get it." He admitted before he put the last few fries into his mouth. When he finished chewing, he spoke again. "When you're actually being a mom, you're a good one." He said nonchalantly.

Cat was taken aback by that, but the compliment from her son released a tiny bit of tension in her heart. She smiled lightly and took a bite of her soup. "That means a lot, Carter."

"I still love you, Mom. You'll always be my mom, even if I call Vanessa mom too."

"I love you too, Carter." She replied immediately. "I will never abandon you again."

The two smiled warmly at each other and began to discuss their personal lives... That was always something she admired about her youngest child... No matter how angry he is, he can put it behind him easily by going in straight for the kill, getting his anger or any other harmful emotion out in the open, and then fixing it. It was something they both had in common with each other.