What Remains Of Me

My Hostility

When the wind blows on the remaining leaves of Autumn , I sit right under that tree , enjoying the sound of it . I spend days , weeks , months and years waiting for it to come , the thing that I truly desire . It is something that most of us won't consider as a solution to my problem , but I'm no ordinary human ...

"Mister !"

A litlle boy was calling me from far away :

"Mister ! My balloon ! It's going to fly away from me !"

The balloon was really far from my reach , I had to do something . I couldn't show my true self to a little child as it would be a troma for him . I clinched my fist , not knowing what to do . The balloon went away as the wind pushed it up to the sky .

The child started crying , apparently he was running after his balloon that he even lost himself . I walked towards him and kneeled as to have the same height as him .

"I'm going to buy you a new one , don't worry"

"But mister , that was the first balloon that mom ever bought me , she worked very hard to buy me one and I just let it slide from my hand "

"And where's your mom ?"

"She told me to close my eyes and count to 20, and before finishing the balloon slid from my hand"

  I was in lost of words , I couldn't know what to say to confort him ; I've never been in this situation before .  I didn't want to let the idea that his mom left him on purpose get inside my brain, I had to at least try searching for her .

"Let's go search for your mom"

"Yes"

I was walking down the street , trying to see someone that looks a bit like this boy.

"What does your mom look like ?"

"She has grey eyes , black hair , white skin"

"Maybe grey eyes will help in this case , because everybody here has black hair and white skin"

I looked around for hours and asked people if they have ever seen someone with those features but no hope , she was nowhere to be seen . 

"Do you know where your mom works ?"

"She works somewhere far from here at night, it is called "The Cats" "

I looked at the clock , it was still afternoon .

"What do I do with you buddy ?"

The little was looking up at me with sad eyes , still filled with tears . Now from all the times I had to deal with this little guy here . For some reason I couldn't let him alone , my heart was responding weirdly to this situation , a little bit of bitterness like my heart is being squeezed . What do we call this feeling ? I don't seem to remember ...

"Let's go somewhere you can eat , you're hungry ?"

He nods . 

"Alright where would you like to go ?"

"I don't know , I've never really went anywhere besides the parc , I usually eat at home"

Mnafzcht was a really big city , I didn't know where to go to have a proper meal . Right where I was sitting , near the parc, was a hotdog seller .

"Wanna catch some hotdogs ?"

"YAAAY , thank you sir !"

We returned to the parc and had a seat after buying his food . I watched him eating his hotdog fastly as if someone will steal it .