Marilyn, Marilyn

Part Three

'D'you think she can hear us?' he asks, and hears the note of hope climb into his voice. It's the same question he asks every time he comes, and the answer is always the same, but he can't help it, on the off chance that the answer will be different.

It isn't.

'I don't think so,' Ella's mother replies, staring at her daughter forlornly. 'There's always a chance, of course, but they say it's unlikely.'

Jonah tears his gaze away from his best friend and looks at Ella's mother. He's known Julia for the longest time, but he's never seen her so weary, so ragged, not even after her husband left. 'I'll go get us some coffees,' he offers after a moment.

'Oh,' Julia says, surprised, as if she's forgotten he's there. 'Oh, yes. That'd be nice. Thanks, Jonah.'

'No worries.'

When he comes back, Julia is sitting in a chair, her head lolled to one side. He makes a mental note to bring a neck pillow the next time he visits. He's sure Julia would've gotten one for herself, but he doubts she's been home for more than a few minutes for the last two weeks, between work and visiting her daughter.

He sets one of the cups on the table beside Julia and takes the other one with him, to the chair beside Ella.

'Hi,' he says. He always starts their conversations like this now, which is odd because when Ella was awake, they never started talking by greeting each other. In fact, Jonah doesn't even remember them starting to talk, because starting implies stopping, and they never stopped. They have always been a single ongoing conversation, the steady bass to which he lives his life.

Until two weeks ago, when Ella disappeared for the day and a pair of lifeguards found her unconscious and half-drowned.

And suddenly the bass is disturbed, and the music stops.

'I had Latin today,' he says. 'Carrie got cut. I only got three percent higher than her in the exam, you know, so it's not like I'm some genius. I'm thinking of following her. I mean, what's the point of doing a subject if you're shit at it, you know what I mean?' He glances Julia's way, holding his tongue, but sees that she's still sleeping. 'Anyway. I'm shit at it. But I don't know, it seems like a waste to have gotten this far and give up on it now.' He leans in and takes one of her hands in his. It's limp, and smaller than he remembers, but warm. It feels like his lifeline. 'Don't give up,' he whispers, so quietly he can't even hear himself. 'Please, Ella. I'm begging you. Don't give up.'

He talks to Ella for a little while, catching her up on what's happened since he last visited her, until his phone buzzes with a text from his mother. 'Shit, I forgot they were going out tonight.' Jonah puts his phone back in his pocket and stands. He takes Ella's hand before he goes, squeezes it gently, and says, 'See you tomorrow.' Then he goes to the door, and it creaks when he opens it, waking Julia up.

'Oh, you're leaving?' she asks groggily.

'Yeah. My parents are going out tonight, so I need to look after the twins.'

Julia nods and notices the cup of coffee, now only mildly lukewarm, sitting on the table next to her. 'Oh, you got me some. Thank you.'

'It's probably cold by now,' Jonah says, 'but I didn't want to wake you up.'

She waves a hand dismissively and tells him, 'No, thank you for letting me sleep. I need it.' Julia looks over to Ella, and Jonah can't help but notice how forlorn she looks. 'I'm sure she'd be very grateful to know that you were here.'

'I'll be back tomorrow.'

'I know. And I'll let you know if anything changes.'

'Thanks.' Jonah pulls the door open, and gives Julia and Ella one last smile before he leaves.

As Jonah turned the corner, someone tugged his arm, hard, pulling him away from the stream of students into a quiet nook in between lockers.

'Hey,' Jonah said, once he'd gotten over his surprise. 'What was that for?'

Steph released his arm and glanced beside her to Carrie, who had a distinctively Carrie look on her face - conspiratorial smirk, grey eyes alight with mischief.

'This can't be good,' Jonah said, knowing he sounded grumpy.

As if on cue, Steph smacked him lightly and said, 'Don't sound so grumpy, Jonah. You're such a buzzkill. It's a wonder how we stand you.'

Jonah rolled his eyes and turned to Carrie, who was always much franker than Steph. 'So?'

'So,' Carrie said, 'Zac asked me if Ella was seeing anyone.'

'Oh. Oh. Damn, really? Zac Lee? I never thought that he liked her.'

'Well, neither did I,' Carrie replied.

'And? I still don't see why I need to know about this.'

'Well, see, that's the thing. Ella isn't seeing anyone right now, you know that. But I didn't want to tell him in case... well, you know.'

I thought I could count on Carrie to cut to the point, Jonah thought, but instead only said, 'No, I don't know.'

'Do you want to ask her out? Because, I mean, Zac's nice and all but he's not you. I'd much rather you be dating Ella than him.'

Jonah blinked, surprised. 'What?' He was sure she was kidding him. When neither Carrie nor Steph looked remotely joking, he continued firmly, 'No. I don't want to ask Ella out. She's my friend.'

Even he could hear how empty the word sounded.

'Well,' Carrie said, shrugging, 'If you're sure.'

He was sure. He didn't like Ella like that; it was impossible to even think of it. But calling her a friend didn't do her justice. It kept him up that night, wondering what Ella was to him. It was only three years later that he realised, as he watched her lie on that hospital bed, when the word came to him as quickly and easily as breathing.

Soul mate.