The Unofficial, Elastic, Probably Wrong Guide to Writing Prose Fiction

I - Elementary Rules of Prose Fiction

        Diving right into things is certainly my strong point, so without further ado, let's begin.

Rule 1: This rule is for any and all even considering writing prose fiction: do not try it without knowing what you're doing, if you plan on making it into a career. If you cannot write an English sentence (or do not understand the English language)—which is perhaps the toughest thing to do in all forms of writing—do not try prose. While it is a "free"  sense of writing, it does not permit you to drop all rules. Follow rules in every form of writing.

Rule 2: If you're going to write prose fiction, be creative. That is a must. No matter how dry a person may be, no one wants to read a dry story. This does not require you be original. A few of the more notable writers out there have pulled their stories from other stories they'd read; remember, everything is based off something. Base yours off something good.

Rule 3: This may seem a bit contradictory to rule two, but rule three is you must never be cliché. Cliché does not define unoriginality. All I'm saying is don't say the same thing someone else said—nobody wants to read something they've already read. I'm not saying nobody re-reads some of their favorite stories. I do all the time. I am saying if they do want to, they want to read it again because they enjoyed the book they'd once read. They do not wish to read a story that's exactly the same, save for a few characters and plot-changes.

Rule 4: Write believably. This is another huge rule. I am not saying you must set up a cozy home on earth for your characters, and give them believable lifestyles—you just need to make sure their situations, their powers, their adventures are things one could imagine actually happening in the real world. It is very hard to explain this one, because I've read a really fantastic story where one man has the power to make the weather change to snow on cue. I think what I'm trying to say is: give your characters and world traits any man or woman's life would include. i.e., Just because a man has the strength to catch a falling airplane does not mean a woman can't steal his heart, nor that he does not have some sort of kryptonite weakness capable of rendering his powers useless.

Rule 5: This is one you must never ignore: Don't use immoderately large words unnecessarily. If you had to use the thesaurus to find the word—don't use it. Nobody should have to stop reading and crack open a dictionary—or, perhaps more accurately, Google—so they may understand what they're reading.

Rule 6: As a final elementary rule, I must stress the most important rule of all: KNOW YOUR BOUNDARIES. Not everyone is good at everything. If you cannot write romance in prose fiction, don't do it. Period. Also, know your social boundaries. If you cross them with your characters, state you yourself do not agree with your characters' personality and language. A great character is one who is him/herself. Don't throw your personal views upon all your characters; of course it's okay to give one or two of them your basic personality. It's good to add yourself—or at least the basic idea of yourself—to your stories.