feelings

Anxiety

Waking up everyday to the same noise of your phone ringing. Some days you actuly want to attend school and then your thoughts flow worrying about things that haddent happen yet. A constant question of what if, what if I get everything wrong, what if I trip what if something bad happens. A constant questioning of myself but does anyone notice that I've put my head phones in and pulled my hoodie over my head and it's 100° outside. Did they hear the high pitch sound my voice has right before you cry and the unsteadyness of my voice. When they ask "are you okay?" you are just "tired". Not wanting to get up in the morning not because the people you've seen everyday for years but because you just feel like you can't do it. Thinking mabe every situation will go bad, by the end of the day you tell yourself "I'm okay" I made it only to wake up and start agian hoping you won't say the wrong thing and it will stick with you all day. Just the thought makes you weak and shiver and sick to your stomach  but who are they to see that or tell you only known them since 5th grade. Did they notice you haven't spoke all day and you disappeared from the tables. Did the teacher notice when you grades started plumiting but you walk in everyday with a smile. Why everyone thinks you have all your stuff put together but that's all on the outside. Waiting for each moment to haunt you all day because it replayed over and over in your brain hoping no one notices and the teacher asked if you need to sit out but you say no because it's a constant thing. You look like you haven't slept in weeks but all of it came from the couple hours before that point. And lastly the only person to notice is not your bestfriend not your family but the chick that sat next to you last year and never spoke.