that's pretty gay

The 26th of January, 2018

Oh my God, I hate my life. There's too much going on right now. Also, someone threw a ball on my head AND in my stomach, so that's also not pleasant. It's just so busy. I have lots of things to do, including a speaking contest, the school newspaper, the school play, and the school's "talent show". I also have school work, AND I have to write stories, as to not disappoint my followers on Tumblr and my friend Gabe. It's weird, because these are all things I enjoy very much. Well, except school work. That sucks. I just want too much, you know? I'm also really insecure about my writing. I'm scared that it's terrible. I don't want it to be terrible. I want to entertain and move people. These problems with my confidence aren't being helped by the fact that I have a crush on Cecily from theatre, but I don't know if she likes girls.  I feel like if she doesn't, I'd take it way too personally, even though it's not. Ugh, I'm such a mess. I wish I had all of my stuff together, that I would enjoy everything I used to. I feel like my love for some of my hobbies is fading, especially for the speaking contest and for theatre. I still love theatre and acting, don't get me wrong. I just used to have so much passion for the play I'm in right now, but I don't anymore. Also, I don't only do acting, but I also do singing, which I  definitely don't enjoy anymore. I like singing a lot, but singing in this play just makes me nervous and stresses  me out and makes me feel bad about myself and... I should stop complaining, I can't go back anymore. I just need to hold on for 19 more days, then the play will be over.  Then my mind will calm down a bit, I hope (badum tss). I know that it'll be okay. Just not right now

-Hope