Reincarnation

Depression

Why must everything hurt you? Why should you let it hurt you? I don't know. But because of my depression I couldn't eat or sleep properly.

My mom and dad divorced when I was five and I was in the custody of my mom. It felt lonely without dad but I wouldn't even dare to mention him. If I did, my mother would throw a fit saying that he cheated on her and that he deserved to be divorced. As a child I somehow know all these things adults experience in their lives. My dad had an affair with my teacher, and she never taught in our school again. My father lived happily with her while my mother was in despair. Everyday I have to see my mom coming home drunk and mumbling about dad under her breath, I can't stand this but I have to pretend that everything's okay. It hurts to see my mom this way while my father is merry making with my teacher.

Because of that I spend my time in my room more than going outside...I just, don't feel like going outside. I feel tired. I'm not in the mood to interact with anybody for a while. Or forever. I isolated myself from the world, and my friends got really worried so they were always there for me. But even if they try to cheer me up, the damage has been done and I would sometimes try not to get them involved in my situation because I might be a burden to them so I pushed them away. I was bullied because my dad ran off with a teacher who worked here and calling my father a pig. I don't blame them though. But it still hurts knowing that you're all alone in this world and that no one is there to help you because you pushed them away. But it's okay. I can endure everything if I just ignore it.

It's a normal day at school. As usual no one talks to me except for my friends, everyone avoids me and everywhere I go they would spread rumors about me. I heard a rumor of me helping the teacher get close to my dad saying that it was my fault. Although I absolutely have nothing to do with it, I don't get why they would make such exaggerated rumors.

Time seems to slow down day by day for me, I don't know why. I wanted time to go faster but it just keeps on slowing and slowing down. I want this day to end. I wanna be in my room all by myself so that I have time to think about everything. How am I supposed to deal with this or what should I do to help mom forget dad? I realized I've been stressed lately most likely because of lack of sleep. It's getting harder and harder for me to sleep. I couldn't sleep comfortably like I used to before. The things that I used to enjoy don't seem to make me happy anymore. I suddenly lose interest in it. I rarely even smile nor laugh. And I cry...a lot. Not because I'm sad. But because I don't know what to do anymore.

Bell rings

School bell rings and it's the same as usual. Everyone's avoiding me, nobody's talkng to me. I'm getting used to this kind of life. I mean sure the pressure's on in middle school but I chose to not care for a bit at all and just focus on what's ahead of me...even though I may not know what's waiting for me.

Just as I was about to walk away from my locker, Alex showed up. He's probably here to make fun of me again as always. "So you dared to show up in this school again huh?" Why? Is it wrong to go to school to actually catch up to some of the topics I've missed? "Just leave me alone." I tried to ignore him. But he ran up to me for whatever reason. "Hey! You can't just ignore me like that." Probably because you're here to bully me again saying that my dad is a bastard although it's true and that when I grow up I'll be a slut like our teacher? Please. "I'm just gonna continue ignoring you while I get to class." Not only does he bully me but he sure pisses me off a lot. "Hey! HEY!!!.....bitch."

Finally. Some alone time...I just want to be left alone....

"Look what the cat dragged in." Ugh, just when this day couldn't get any worse. "If you're here to insult me you can do whatever you please because I can choose whether to listen to you or not." Of all the days, why should the worse things always happen on Monday? "You even had the courage to show up in this school again after what happened." Not this shit again. "So I've been told." This is getting really tiring already, my ears are about to burst hearing this shitty topic again and again. "She was a very valuable teacher here and the best to only to run away with your dad." Is that really that big of a deal? Like there are actually some other important things that are much more a big of deal like this one. Like I dunno, saving humanity because humanity's getting fucked up?

I finally reached home and jumped onto my bed as soon as possible. Somehow my room is the only place that keeps me safe and secure. It's the only place where I feel warmth. Everywhere I go it's always cold. But, I wonder if I'll be able to feel the same warmth I used to feel when my family was still complete.

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A/N: I hope you liked the first part of the story. I actually thought of this story in my mind for quite some time and decided whether this should be drawn as a comic or written instead since I don't really know how to write a story because I find it easier to convey a story by drawing it or if possible animated. But anyways, this might serve as some sort of my manuscript of my story that I may or may not turn into an animation. I won't be able to update soon because of school especially since I have little time but anyways, I hope you liked it. That's all 🙂