Butterfly Cards |Jeon Jungkook

19: Let go

Sike! Im not ending it there.. even though I wanted to.. I dont like unhappy endings.. Angst will be for another book :)

Lets continue on, shall we?

-

Jung Hoseok

Both of them were crying. I know how much Liz loves Jungkook

But why is she saying that she doesnt know who he is? Why is she trying to stay away from him?

As Liz tried to walk up the stairs in the plane... Jungkook grabbed her wrist once again

I was just frozen in place. I really cant do anything. Im in daze and in confusion.

Jungkook pulled her close to him making her twirl around. Her body landed on his.

Jungkook wrapped himself around Liz. She tried her hardest to break free. From hitting him to pulling away, she tried everything. She kept doing that..

But Jungkook didnt budge at all..

Jeon Jungkook

I grabbed her wrist.. Im not making the same mistake again.

Im NOT letting her go like last time. I cannot lose her. Without her Im lost. Im hurt. Im alone. And Im afraid.

I pulled her in for a hug. I tightly wrapped my arm around her

She hit my chest trying to break away. She tried to push me "Let go! Let me go!" She just repeated her actions and words

"Stop! Stop!" Her voice became more hoarse and gurgled

She sobbed as her hits got weaker

"I know I never told you this before" I whispered to her as I pulled her in tighter
"I love you." She suddenly stopped

She wasnt moving.. her hands hang on her side..

She was silent for a second... but then she started to cry again

"Y-you...." Her cries intensified
"Cant.. You cant.. dont do this"

She suddenly gripped on my shirt tightly.

I let my hand slip lower on her back

Her tears soaked my shirt but I didnt care. Shes here and thats all that matters.. Im holding her.. but Im in pain.. her whimpers drowns me

Why is she crying? Why did she say she doesnt remember me? Why does she not want me? Did she lose her love for me?

"Please let me go...." She shuddered as her voice muffled
Her face were buried on my chest..
"I dont want to hurt you..."

Her words made me tighten up my embrace. I dont want to forget her again. I want us to be happy

"You wont hurt me. I love you Liz. And that didnt change."

I pulled her away by the shoulder and looked at her straight in the eyes

Tears fell on her face again and I just wiped them away with my thumbs

"Please say you love me too.."

Silence

I suddenly felt like I was being drained.

Her head hang low

"I dont."

Her words were like spears through my heart and body. Even though I know that's already a lie... I cant take it.

I need to know now, if she would love me again.

I wrapped an arm on her waist and pulled her in once again

I lifted her face with my hand and locked lips with her

Liz Jung

When he placed his lips on mine.. I didnt know what to do. The nostalgia of pain and regret encircled us

I felt my eyes leak tears as he kisses me

I wanted this for a very long time... but I cant let my feelings take over me..

But..

I love him

And he loves me

Fuck!

I cant let him go even if I tried.
Even if I say I dont want him.. Im only lying to myself.. and that hurts

Isnt this what Ive been waiting for? Why cant I bring myself to give up to him?

He makes me vulnerable but Im still fighting like an idiot

He pulled away from me and he looked at my eyes again...
It hurts to see his dark brown chocolate-like eyes.

It hurts how I still love him and never forget him after all these years.

I want him back in my life.. but I dont want to hurt him. If I tell him what I really feel..

Is that even the right choice?

If I said I do still love him.. does being back in his life will be any good? What if I end up hurting him?

What if we have to part ways again?

Why am I doubting so much?

"Liz.. please tell me you still love me.." The pain in his voice makes me want to throw myself away

Why am I doing this to him? Why am I trying so hard to get away from him?

I still love him.. so why cant I say it?

What am I scared of?

Everything...

Im mortified..

I want him to hug me tightly once again. And what if I let him go? What would happen?

What if I start to break again? Can he put me back together?

I opened my mouth to say something.. but only a sigh escaped my mouth.

His eyes saddened further... its losing its hope.. its light..

I dont want that.. I want him to stay with me.. I want to stay with him

Just say something Liz

I bit my bottom lip harshly feeling extremely anxious. I want to cry more... I want to disappear.. but I dont

Even if Im suffering.. I want to be beside him..

"Jungkook..." I muttered his name...

A sudden spring of life sprouted in his eyes.. his eyebrows lifted slightly

"No more lies..."