WORDS i Can't Describe..

How can I describe this? Is this love?

 I know I will forget this soon enough. I know I will. But no matter how hard I try, I'll keep falling; I fall for you. I'm a fool. I'm here before your eyes yet you can't seem to realize! 

I thought you'd see it. In my heart, I know you truly know how I feel. I was fumbling over my words and rushing my actions. I nearly blew my cover of trying to not explode; my heart about to explode. I don't like that other person. I don't . I don't, okay??

 Can't you see? My eyes are pleading you to jump in and soak within the empty abyss. I like you. I always have been and always will. This feeling of liking...it's deceiving though. You see it as a mutual friendship kind of thing.

It's also not a "like"..it's "love". But it's so obvious. I'm sorry...

My feelings are something I can't control. Feelings...they come and go

But the feelings I bear for you..

They last. And I am willing to wait. 

8 months. I said I'd wait, huh? I lied. 

I lied about losing my feelings about you. I lied how I'll see you just as a friend. 

So Imma say it..

I've always and will always love you. I'd wait for you.

I don't care if you can see my indulgent heart.

If you don't, I'll tell you. 

Just look at me and say what you want. I know deeply you just don't want to be friends. I know you'd be happy with me. I know our hearts will be content. I know how you feel. But everything blurs and I feel like crying...

I don't care if you play me. I don't care if you hurt me mentally. As long as I'm willing to surpass my limit that holds me back from you.  I don't care as long as I don't let you lose me.

Because you never will.

You've already peer through my heart, know my mind and the way I think, you've lied, made me cry; happy and sad tears, and lost some of my trust.

You've already played mind tricks and toyed with me mentally. And slowly, you hurt me. 

But-- I am willing to stay by your side no matter what. You've already hurt me enough to the point I feel nothing but just dissolving it into my deep, abyss of a thing called a "heart".

Yet--I am still willing to trust you and stay loyal by being at your side.

I know I'm a fool for falling and just stuck on the pause button.  

I wanna press play to just see how long this act will last.

The final act will soon come. Wait for me. 

And I hope you'd feel just the same.

For all I wish is for you is to just be happy, to smile, to have your dreams fulfilled, and simply rest in peace. To simply be at ease.

To put it into words, I am willing to wait for you so I can prove to you that I love you whole heartly.

So, here I am.  A fool to your eyes.

I am about to fall so..are you willing to catch me?

The decision is all in your hands.

Just be true to who you are, although you lack of something, huh?

Is it love?

But--why are you feeling a certain way you're confused of?

Maybe..it is but you lie to yourself; deceiving maybe it's not love. Maybe, though, it is.

Now, you start to realize it is but you can't somehow express it. A certain risk.

You might as well lose me now than later. But you lost me a long time ago, didn't you?

But-- I choose to come back as if nothing happened. Because I simply love you.

But it's not my choice to feel a certain way. I can't force you to feel a certain feeling. All I can do is wait and see how the ending of this act would end.

Maybe then, you won't have to be so stubborn like you are about your feelings and make up your mind.

Funny...

If you manage to lose your chance though..

Ha..

And find someone better than me, good luck on that. And maybe you'll be happy.

But I know, 'cuz we both know, we're both happy with each other.

I know my choice and decision. I'm just hoping you can find your way and make the decision yourself without be swayed.

Because I love you, I am willing to follow your every decision of where we both we'll end or begin. Whether to lead somewhere. It's up to you

But in this moment, I can only wait aimlessly and hope you'll see my efforts as I see yours.

Find me.