I wonder why...
When you lay next to someone knowing they are upset and hurting, why let them feel alone and broken. Like they should just suck it up and be better. The reality of depression is loneliness in a room full of people or even just the one person you thought could change it all. When it starts to sink in that you were wrong and maybe just maybe it's true that it's all in my head.
I wonder why i had to have this debilitating thing that literally disconnects me from myself and the people i love.
I second guess everything and anything making my head feel like it is spinning out of control. Why am i not worth enough for someone to understa how to be with me? I feel like i can't breathe, my chest gets so tight and i want run so far and so fast away from anyone. Touch makes it worse because i wonder if I'm worthy of someone loving me and wanting me.
I am a horrible person but no one sees me. My world is about much bigger things than me yet i am stuck worried why he is ok to just sleep knowing i lay here checks wet from tears and aching for him to pull me into him and make me feel his love. However i listen to him breathe and it gets heavy and deeper, as he falls deeper asleep.
