I don’t know for sure how all of this came to be in existence. It’s something I don’t think anyone thought would ever happen, not even in a million years. Unfortunately I have an idea as to why it happened, but it’s just an idea.
It all started when she came back, that undead past love of mine. I knew I didn’t really love her anymore; she was no longer the same woman I remembered, but I didn’t know how to approach her in any other way then I had in the past. I don’t think I actually used those three words, but, I suppose, my actions said it for me.
It’s not like I meant to act that way. I truly didn’t want her to believe that I still loved her, because I didn’t. As I said before, I just had no other way of approaching her. I felt bad because I knew she believed I still held those feelings for her. Unfortunately, instead of correcting her error in judgment, I just allowed her to believe that.
The actual woman I loved didn’t know of my true feelings. Her belief was that I was still in love with Kikyou, just like everyone else believed it too. There were times when I felt awful about falling in love with the reincarnation of my past love, but life goes on for the most part. I was also afraid of how the teen would react if I told her of my feelings, so I let them remain unknown to her or anyone else.
At one point in my journey with my friends and secret love, I had fooled myself into thinking I actually loved the undead priestess. Unfortunately that was when my friendship with Kagome, the woman I actually had fallen for, began falling apart, I remember those days clearly. It’s a memory I can’t suppress no matter how hard I try.
The first day, I had gone off to have a visit with my former love. When I headed back to camp I had already started to believe that maybe I had been lying to myself about not really loving her anymore. I was pretty sure Kagome could feel how distant I had become, and she seemed upset that I didn’t talk to her much. That night I heard her muffled sobs below the tree I was perched in, and could smell her sorrow mingling with her tears. I told myself the only reason I cared was because she looked eerily like Kikyou. I knew I was just lying to myself though.
My delusions lasted me four months, and during those four months I noticed that Kagome kept up the distance between us to the point that she didn’t even attempt to strike up a conversation with me anymore. I told myself not to worry or even care. That was easier said then done of course.
There was a day that brought with it so much panic that I couldn’t even think straight, and on that day my delusions faded into nothingness as my heart longed for my time-traveling companion. Those two things I sometimes wish never happened. It would make life so much less complicated for me.
I remembered that Kagome kept going off to the Hot Springs every time we would take a break, and she stopped bringing the demon slayer with her. I had never really thought much of it, but I should have because eventually she didn’t come back.
I had gone to the Hot Springs to get her because we were about to leave, but she wasn’t there. Upon further investigation, I found that her scent led away from the Hot Springs to a clearing a few yards away. As I kept up my tracking, I found that eventually her scent intermingled with that of my older brother’s and then both scents just disappeared.
