Songfic: Such horrible things.
Beware....
"Mother, would you please tell me a story?" the little blonde asked his mother who gave him a soft smile. " Why of course dear...how about one from when you were younger." she inquired, which the boy answered by nodding his head eagerly.
Sit back now
Let me tell you a tale
Where justice does not prevail
About an ill-fated life
So very full of strife
Where two wrongs do not make a right
"As you wish my dear, let's see..." she trailed off.
When I was born
I did surely scorn
My proud parent's name
Then their lives went down the drain
Drove them insane
My birth was a curse
I bit the nurse
Oh, but I love the worst
A baby's cry could be heard from the room as well as quiet pants replacing the incoherent screams from the lady who had just given birth. The others waited elsewhere since she screamed for them to leave and a nurse picked up the little one whom they saw was a male. They cooed and such to try get him to calm down which proved futile as he simply bit the nurse as hard as he could on the finger causing her to let out a howl of pain, shoving him into his mother's arms to bandage the now bleeding finger.
Gasping and trying to stifle a giggle the boy then said, " I deserve to be slowly submersed and dried out then laid in a hearse!" his mother turned to him and said " Now, now Alois don't get carried away."
When I was two
I poured super glue
Into my father's hair
As he sat unaware
In his armchair
Much to his dismay
He had to cut it all away
Oh, but it felt great
The two year old Alois walked bored around the house until he spotted the super glue and his eyes laid on his father who sat peacefully in his chair when a devious plan formed in his head.
"Oh yes mother," he grinned widely " I remember that day! I deserve to be cut and filleted, then tossed about in disarray until the prices melt away."
I am not a bad man
Even though I do bad things
Very bad things
Such terrible things
But its not quite what it seems
(Not quite what he seems)
Not quite what I seem
"Aw hell-" "Alois! Language!" "Sorry, but it's exactly what it seems." he finished.
When I was four
I'd wait by the door
With a knife in my hand
And a most devious plan
It would be quite grand
As the mail fell through the slot
The sharp edge he got
Oh, but I love the thought
The four year old boy now waited in spot, for a while he had been planning this actually. Ever since the mailman called him a rude brat. So there he waited until he saw him coming to the door and as soon as he pushed in the mail, the man got stabbed with the knife. "You deserve to be tied in a knot! With broken bones and blood clots!" the man wailed. "Tsk. Whatever." Alois replied as he walked off.
"Alois. Its time for bed now sweetheart. I promise to tell you more tomorrow okay?" his mother told his as she placed a kiss on his forehead and tucked him in bed. "Yes mother. Goodnight."
