As his eyes fluttered open, Auden could feel the emptiness of the bed and once again it sets in; David is not coming back. He reluctantly puts on a brave face for the kids and shuffles down to the kitchen to start to make breakfast for the big day ahead. Not long after the bacon is frying up and the intense aromas take over the room, he hears a noise coming down the hall into the kitchen. As he expected it was Mason, and it appears that he hadn’t gotten any sleep. “Morning, sweeties, do you want some bacon and eggs?” The fit, young child simply nodded and sat down at the table across from his father. Soon silence fills the room; the only sound is the coffee maker in the background until Mason speaks. “Is today the day we say goodbye to daddy?” The words ring in Auden’s ears; it takes everything in him not to break down in front of his oldest child, “Yes, today is the day…” He pauses not sure what to say “Can you wake up Mallory for me? It’d be a big help for daddy.” At once Mason slid out of his chair, and ran down the hall to wake up his sister. Soon they are all around the old beaten down table, the scratches and carvings holding more memories than most scrapbooks, as Mallory and Mason finish eating Auden sits and traces the various imperfections left from his family over the years; that now felt incomplete, without the company of his now “late husband.”
At about nine o’clock, the small ranch home was filled with the sounds of the familiar rapping on the door that could only be Auden’s best friend, and surrogate to his children, Briah. As always the group exchanged hugs and kisses, but this time instead of jokes, condolences are shared. “I am so, so sorry,” she says holding Auden tight. While the Adults depart to the kitchen, the kids stay in the living room playing with the few toys left out from the night before. “How do you take your coffee?” he asks Briah, who flashes her award winning smile and says, “The same way I take my men….black.” The two friends laugh together, just like old times. “It feels so good to laugh,” he says trying to recall the last time he had truly laughed; it was probably the last time he had seen his husband alive, before the accident. “Is there anything I can do for you to make this day any easier on you, hun?” she asks, meaning every bit of it. She would do anything for him. He thinks for a few seconds and responds “Could you keep an eye on the kids while I get ready this morning?”Briah kisses him on his tear stained cheek, and walk to the living room “Who wants to play rescue heroes?!” Auden can’t help but feel happy seeing his kids come alive again; Briah has always had that kind of effect on everyone she meets.
As the family walked out of the house a few hours later, all of them wore a face that could be read like an open book, there was no use in trying to hide the sad seed that had planted itself on their hearts. Mason had already started to tear up, and pressed his head hard in the side of Auden’s hip; while Mallory was just trying to stay standing with the cool November wind blowing her around like a leaf. As Auden approached the steps of the same church that he and David got married in, he knew that now those happy memories made in this church will now be tainted with sad ones of today. Soon the little family was being filed into pews in the front of the church, all eyes were on them and the overall sadness in the room was very palpable. Auden held both of his children’s hands tight, as the funeral procession consisting of David’s four older brothers walked in. Both Mason and Mallory had lost all control and their eyes released tears like floodgates, but Auden remained still, only allowing a few silent tears fall to his cheeks.
As Auden released his children’s hands and walked up to the podium in which he would say his final goodbye to his husband all eyes are on him. At first no words came out of his mouth, his knees are buckled beneath him and he was afraid that he would not have the strength to do it. But, somewhere within him he found his voice and spoke. “Thank you all for coming. David would be happy to see you all here,” he says because he knows it is expected of him Going on he is now saying what is actually on his heart. “When you say in your wedding vows ‘until death does us part’, you never expect death to come so fast or so soon. But, something that I have learned over the last few days is that life isn’t fair, and some of the most amazing people leave this world all too soon. I count myself lucky that I got to spend the last 11 amazing years with such a sweet and caring person like David. I also feel incredibly blessed that we were gifted with two beautiful children like Mason and Mallory who I know will help me get through this hard time.” Auden paused, looking out at the crowd and fixes his eyes on his children, and smirked at them because he had finally found the ending to his ‘goodbye’. “Goodbye may seem forever. Farewell is like the end. But in my heart is a memory, and there you’ll always be. And right now it feels like a lifetime away, but I know I will see David again.” As Auden stepped down from the podium, he had a new sense of hope and felt like he now could move on with his life, and because of this feeling within him, he could once again smile.
