Near the end of my junior year I had presumably diagnosed myself with severe social impairment. Three years and no contact to the outside world; unless of course you count the seven hours, five days a week where I must be subjected to a place I like to call the Inferno.
My head is a prison of thoughts and phrases I long to say. My words are just a jumble of nonsense though, meaningless ideas.
So believe me when I tell you the most used muscles in my body are the seventeen I use to smile, basically my answer to every question and perhaps my reply to anything ever spoken to me. My smile is my biggest lie I suppose, the colossal sea clogging up my mind takes control of my words, leaving them lost at sea.
My mother took me to my pediatrician, Dr. Dan Schwartz , in a frantic mess, going on about how her 17-year old daughter is suffering from some severe personality disorder. My mother was partially right, the sweaty mess and dry throat that overcomes me whenever an average fellow trys to interact with me is definietly not the norm, the cause being fear constantly attached to my hip, or "Social Phobia".
Late-July, the summer before my senior year, and I had yet to contact a single human-being in those last two months. My daily routine consisted of watching 12 hour re-runs of "Keeping Up With The Kardashians"-laying in bed with a bowl of my favorite cereal, soggy chocolate Rice Krispies-and listening to my mother complain about my boring social life.
So when the oppurtunity came up for me to transfer to Verde Valley Institue for Learning located in the heart of Arizona where I will be so graciously provided with "extra help", my mother accepted and told me I was going; no ands, ifs, or buts about it.
My mom walked into our small yellow house, setting down her plump purse with an exasperated sigh.
"I refuse to attend the school for the troubled." I glanced at her from behind the old, sagging couch and tied my light-blonde hair into a bun.
"Sidney, you need to make a life for yourself." she sat at the edge of the couch, looking at me with eyes I've seen too many times, full of sympathy.
Way to go mom, pull that shit on me, real sweet.
"Mother," I said calmly, desperate for some type of emotion other than pity, "If I go to this school will you stop looking at me like I'm some kicked puppy?"
"Of course honey...I never realized." she muttered to herself and brought me into a warm hug.
It's okay, it happens all the time.
So after a full day of her and I sitting on the couch each eating our own tub of strawberry ice cream, while watching Jane Eyre movies, I packed all of my favorite tops and shorts and stuffed them into my black duffel.
I spent the rest of my night reading brochures online about my new "home". Apparently this place wasn't only for the kids who need "extra help", but for delinquents. Absolutely fantastic. But it's not like I'd have a problem with them, I'm sure they won't even acknowledge my existence.
The next day my mother drove me to the my new school with the windows rolled down. Hot gust of wind constantly invaded the compact car, resulting in smudgy makeup and tangled hair.
I glanced at my mom, she was bobbing ber head to some inde-rock music foreign to me. My mom looks like me, with the same bright-blonde hair and green-blue eyes, I'm just lacking the worry lines.
I awoke to the gentle hum of our...I guess trashy car pulling into the circular drive of the Verde Valley Institute for Learning. There are few dimly lit lamposts scattered around the stone building, I'm guessing that's the dinning hall directly in front of us.
I get out of the horendous car and walk along the side of it till I reach the trunk. I pretend to fiddle with my duffle bag, just to kill time.
I hear my moms car door slam and soon my duffel bag is neatly arranged onto my small shoulders.
"I love you," she said as she squeezed me in her classic this-is-for-the-best-hug.
"I love you too, mom," I said while rearranging the straps of my bag.
"Please try to have fun," she sighed as I started walking towards the dinning hall, not really knowing where the dorms were, "Make friends!" she yelled out the window.
The dorms are a massive array of stone building after building, all four stories at least. I shuffle my feet along the pavement, making sure not to trip over air while I stare into the black night.
And that's when I see him.
~~~
(A/N) This is the first chapter so sorry if it's a little short and boring, remember I'm new at this haha! Please give me your feedback and vote (if you liked it), you guys help inspire me to write! Thanks for the reads! ☺
