the hard thing about this was that, throughout our entire relationship i never ,actually knew if you loved me like i loved you. maybe you just said it back out of pity but in the beginning there were so many feelings involved and i'm positive you really liked me.i remember the first time i really felt like you loved me ,we were saying bye after we had been together that day and you stared right into my eyes and said "I love you" i wanted to cry ,or hug you but i didn't do either. instead i looked away from you because i was scared ,i hadn't felt that way in a long time. you made me the happiest i had been in so long.i loved every moment of it. the thing that still reminds me most of you is "over and over again" the song you used to always play when we would cruise until my mom would call me that i needed to get home. the thing is ,this all happened BEFORE we started dating. i feel like i ruined everything once i asked you out ,lol i wonder if you remember the way i asked you out, we were in class and i put my hand on your knee and i remember i was blushing so hard when i told you "i need to tell you something" and you looked up from your work and said "what."i remember just saying "i want you to be all mine" and you said "what's that supposed to mean" so I told you that i wanted you to be just mine and you told me "am i supposed to answer yes or no?" I said that's up to you and you said "yes" literally my heart stopped and I turned around because i probably looked so stupid since i was smiling so much.that was october 25th. but then flash forward three months later to january 16th and we got into a fight because of me and ended up breaking up. you say the fight wasn't what made you want to end things but i feel like you had been looking for an excuse. the reason we started fighting is because i get way too jealous i trusted you but my jealousy always got the best of me ,and i ruined everything because of that.you told me that the reason you broke up with me is because im going to leave after i graduate and that you're pretty sure I would find somebody else and I told you that you're the only one i wanted to be with. that was only two weeks ago. The first three days were the worst I cried those three days straight. And yes ,the day you broke up with me i did put pinecones all over your truck that night when we were both at the game. God I was so scared, me and v waited like 30 minutes in my truck for you to walk out of the gym just to see your reaction.and when you saw it i was scared because you looked so angry ,you just started throwing them off your truck and then I knew you had seen my truck parked across so i took off but there were too many people around for me to leave so i had to park right there , I was so nervous when you pulled up beside me and started honking. lol i told v that i didn't want to open the door and she said just open it dude so i opened it and you told me ,"Was that you who put pinecones all over my truck?" you looked so fucking mad so I lied straight to your face "No dude i swear i didn't" and you looked away and then back at me with this look in your eyes ,I was scared. I told you again that I swore it wasn't me and I was about to get off but then you just said okay and drove off really fast. When I got home and layed down that night I was still shaking. I cried. And that was that. The next day i texted you if we could talk about what happened the day before and you said sure. You told me why you broke up with me and I made no mention of the pinecones. We became friends though, today I gave you a rose in the hallway and told you it was a friendship rose,I swear I got so happy when I saw you with it still 4 periods later because i thought you were going to throw it away to be honest. I'm going to make things go back to normal again ,not us dating but how everything was before we started dating, even if it takes a while I'll wait, and the day you really stop talking to me,then I'll give up. But until then ,im just trying to get my friend back.:')
