The Spark of a Wolf

Self-reflections and assorted lists...

Having already slept for several hours, effectively ruining the entire day, Stiles is wide awake...at 4 in the morning. At least its Sunday, 4 in the morning, so he's got that going for him, but that mean he'll probably crash around 12 or 1 and his day will be shot, again, and school will suck on Monday.

"Fuuuuuccccckk!" He groans, laying on his bed with his arms spread out. "What even is my life!?"

After Malia climbed through his window, Stiles sat on his bed for a good 2 and a half hour just staring at nothing, not even thinking. It wasn't until about 12:30, after his 3rd melt down, that he sat at his desk and made a list.

-Reasons I am an idiot:

1. Scott sucks my intelligence like a parasite

2. I hopelessly crush on the same person for years, who ignores me and repeatedly rejects me

3. Cartoons

4. I firmly believe that Duct Tape is an essential tool to prolonging the life of my Jeep...But its freaking DUCT TAPE

5. I hate the word read. Do you read it read or read? See- yeah, my brain

6. Derek was OBVIOUSLY my anchor

He slams his head onto his desk as he writes the last line, groaning. Because of course it was him; thinking about it freely, yeah, its sort of clear and he's a total moron. Once that realization dawned on him, it was time for more staring.

And here he lies, 4 in the morning, feeling like he's drowning. He wants to call Scott, but its 4 in the morning, so no. He could text Derek, but that seems lame and desperate so...no.

He climbs out of bed, strolling down the hall to the kitchen. His stomach rumbled angerly as he opened the door to the fridge.

"Ugh, I know! You're empty, I get it." Stiles told his angerly protesting pit. "There's nothing to eat." He grumbled, grabbing a water and a cheese sticks, deciding that they would have to do.

He flopped down on the couch with his PlayStation controller in his lap. His dad wouldn't be home until late in the evening after finishing his double shift, so there was no worry of him hearing his dad complain about the time and ranting about how he needs normal sleep and to "put away the video games already". He turned the system on, starting up Arkham City; some mindless Batman action was sure to pass the time.

Thankfully, it was easy to get engrossed in the game and the actions before him. Stiles was sucked into the story of the game for a few hours, dozing off for a quick power nap here and there; by the time he looked at a clock again, the sun was up, peaking through the gray clouds in the sky, the time read 9:25 AM. A normal hour to begin pestering people about his problems. He trots back into his room for his phone, finding a new message from Lydia.

You're an idiot.

I am well aware. Thanks. He replies.

Stiles goes back to his conversations list, not surprised to find Derek's name near the top of the list. He taps the message open with a fond smile. He had somehow roped Derek into a conversation about the realistic inaccuracies of Star Wars, which he loves those movies sure but loves pulling it apart also. Derek wasn't much fun with it really, just kept saying that it was only a movie and to "Stop taking it so seriously."

You think we can talk? Stiles takes a deep breath and hits send; his heart felt almost like it was trying to hammer its way right through his chest.