I Can't Do This, Not Without You (Cake 5SOS Mpreg)

8.

Hi! New update! Some of you wanted one so here it is! Enjoy! 

- Gabie :) 

________

Luke. 

"Bye Maya. I'll see you tomorrow," I told her, standing up. "Bye Lukey. I'll see you tomorrow. I'll text you later, after my guitar lesson," she said.  

She stood up and wrapped her arms around me, giving me a hug. This time I tried to make myself feel something. I tried to feel those butterflies in my stomach, but, again, I felt nothing. 

During our hug, I couldn't seem to get Calum out of my mind. I thought about his chocolately-brown eyes. I thought about his lively laugh that made me laugh. I thought about his smile and how he could make anyone smile.

Before I knew it, I found myself hungering to feel Calum's hands linger on mine, hear his laugh, and to see him smile, and to just hear his voice. 

I know, I shouldn't be having these thoughts while I was sharing a hug with my girlfriend, but I couldn't help it. After our argument on Friday, Calum never seemed to leave my mind.  

"Maya...I um...," I hesitated. "What is it Luke?" She asked in a whisper. "I um...might not be able to hang out tomorrow," I replied.

She let go and looked at me. "Why Luke? It seems like I never get to see you anymore," Maya said, looking away. 

"It's just that...I need time to think and figure things out. It's not your fault, I promise. I just need time..to think," I told her, biting my lip.

"Are you okay Luke? You haven't been yourself lately. You're cancelling dates, not returning any of my calls and texts, and I feel like you've been avoiding me? What's going on?" She asked, worried. 

"It's nothing. Nothing much. I just need to..sort out feelings and thoughts," I told him, scratching the back of my head. 

"You're falling out of love with me aren't you?" She asked, close to tears. 

"I can't say if that's true or not. I just-" 

"Luke stop saying that! I know you're lying! I know you're keeping something from me. Whatever happen to there being 'no secrets between us'?" She yelled, a few tears streaming down her face.

"There's nothing to tell. There are no secrets between us. We just need time apart. Not that I'm breaking up with you, it's just that we can't always be texting or talking. We need time to ourselves and around other people too. That's what a good relationship needs," I replied calmly. 

"I just feel distant from you lately Lukey. I don't want to feel that way. I shouldn't have to feel that way. I should feel like I can go to you whenever and talk to you whenever. And right now, I don't feel that way," Maya admitted. 

"I know I know. I haven't been the best lately. Just give me time. Once I can figure things out, I'll talk to you about it," I told her.  

Maya sighed. "Fine. I guess I'll um...see you tomorrow. If you stop avoiding me." 

"Maya don't say that," I told her.

"Well what am I suppose to say? You're the one that's acting different. You're not the Luke that I fell in love with in June. You're a Luke that's distracted and distant and...just different overall. I barely know you anymore," Maya said. 

"I'm sorry alright? I can't control what I'm feeling and thinking okay? If I could, we wouldn't be having this argument now would we?" I asked, raising my voice.