Fast forward a bit. We moved to Milford Connecticut. We moved into a light gray, two story house a few blocks from the beach. My parents tell me that when I saw the swing set in the back yard I asked if I could play on the playground. I settled in and figured that everything would be the same, just different house, neighbors, school, room... friends. I always looked to other people for compliments and to build myself up. When I was little, in this case 5, my insecurities didn't tear down my castle. When I entered kindergarten at Orange Avenue, I got slapped with reality. I was the new kid, hyper, happy go lucky. I would constantly move and fidget. My teacher didn't like that. I made one friend. She was in eight grade. I don't remember her name but I remember her face. I liked her. She was one of the few nice people. I switched schools after that year. First grade I went to Saint Anne's. They combined first and second grade in one class room until it came for individual stuff. Mrs. Timoney was a great teacher. I was still fidgety and hyper, but a little toned down. It was my best year. After, it closed down. Second through sixth grade I was in the same school. Christian Heritage School, or CHS. By the time i got there most of these kids had been friends since preschool. I tried making friends with everyone and being involved with everything. My First Mistake. I considered everyone my friend until proven otherwise. Now I know that I should've had a better system than that. As the years went by, I became more introverted. When I was by myself I was calm and talked to myself discussing random topics. It was when I was with other people that my troubles began. Backpedaling to second grade, I was in lunch with some, friends, one of them being Amanda Mamana. Next to us were some older kids. I had what I called laughing fits, where when someone said something funny, I literally couldn't stop laughing. And I laughed, LOUD. I have always been loud, laughing, singing, and being loud in general. This day was different however. When I had finally stopped laughing, the kid next to me turned to me and asked "Hey, are you sick?", there is the first strike against my castle. Of course being the sheltered little naive cinnamon role I was, hesitated and replied, "uhm, I don't thinks so." Because I thought he meant 'sick' as in having a cold. His friends stifled their laughs and I was confused. My Second Mistake. When we were exiting lunch I asked Amanda what he meant. "He was asking if you were mentally sick, not right in the head." my mouth formed an 'o' in surprise and I looked down, tears threatened to spill over. "Why" she asked, I told her that the guy next to me had asked me that. Anger rolled off her in waves. I pointed out the guys and watched a little second grader and basically held him by the collar of his shirt and said something like "No One, talks to my friend like that." Then ushered me out. I mentioned that tears threatened to spill out of my eyes, the thing is. They never did. Looking back I think my subconscious knew this was only the beginning. Fun Fact #1: People will do anything to make themselves feel good.
