the street was grey
we walked- well he did, anyway- i on the other hand stood on my tip-toes and walked as evenly as i could on the faded white line of paint.
"what are you doing?" he chuckled. "its a habit. i cant help it." i quietly laughed.
i sounded simple enough to him. just some girl he hangs out with, wears vans and jeans. sweatshirts, also. you cant forget the sweatshirt. my hair is always down. not too spectacular. thats me in his eyes. at least what i believe he sees. im most likely correct. if only he knew what i thought about him.
he is amazing. theres no flaws about him. i could stare into his eyes forever if it wouldnt get awkward. his eyes were bitter colors. but placed in a way that was inviting. an icy blue outlined the mocha fade around his pupils. hints of gold and maybe even silver sprinkled lightly close to the dark perfect circle smack dab in the center. but it wasnt just an icy blue. it was different. it was.... scary. like a drug. so intimidating but i want it so bad. that is the best color i see in his eyes. even though it gives me an unsettling feeling in the pit of my stomach. the worst feelings are the best when there from someones eyes. the icy blue was accompanied by a deep blue sprawled around. unstable. bitter. cold. loving. colors.
the park was predictable
he was the best part of this whole adventure.
"isnt the sunset greatest behind the trees?" he asks while we sat on the road in front of an old park. i had to restrain myself from going on a tangent about the colors and how they popped out of the cracks in-between the limbs. how he looked in the lighting. how bad i wanted to take a picture of him gazing into it.
"its beautiful" i whisper.
dammit.
he doesnt even notice.
i want to tell him so fucking bad.
but he'll just hurt me again.
another girl.
another girl thats better and prettier and less problematical than me.
she probably wears dresses.
she probably doesnt just wear sneakers all the time.
she looks better in pictures.
she is more stable than i will ever be.
he deserves her.
i deserve no one.
the street is unsettlingly bright
we walk back home. except now i dont feel up to walking along the faded white paint line on my tip-toes.
i guess i could describe what i was wearing since i worked really hard and made hard desisions on my out fit.
i wore my favorite ripped blue jean skinney jeans and a cropped thrasher sweatshirt with my dark blue high-top vans.
i kept my hair predictably down falling down my back.
we start to pass a storm drain in a ditch. not a small one, a huge one. i always go down there and sit.
i grab his hand and run twards it.
"what are we doing?" he yelled.
"something fun that may get us into trouble." i snicker forgetting all my thougts before.
"you know me so well." he laughs.
we get down to my secret place.
i grab the folded piece of paper and unravel it.
"whats that?" he asks
"i shall read it." i say matter of factly.
" •steal a reflectant light from the road.
•graffiti something
•stay out until 3am
•run to nowhere while its cold and dark outside
•sit on top of a tall building and look down
•feel free
uuhhmm i-i d-dont think-k i want tto r-read the l-last one." i stutter
"awe why noott" he whines.
"its weird.." i whisper weakly
"no its noot" he says while he snatches the paper out of my hands.
"NO" i scream while chasing him down the storm drain.
he stops running and reads the paper. i just stand in shock.
"be kissed by a boy." he reads.
"umumum" i stutter
"youve never been kissed?" he asked, shocked.
"n-n-no..." i weakly whisper.
"wow" he blankly states.
"is this like a bucket list?"
"more like a fuckit list."
"can i help?"
"sure"
he walks slowly twards me.
"lets go" he whispers.
not what i was expecting but ok.
"lets go" i reply.
"wait" he says
"ye-" he grabs my hands and quikly pulls me twards him and my lips meet his.
his perfectly soft lips are in perfect sync with mine. fireworks go off on my stomach and brain and i feel like im going to pass out.
i pull away.
i let him do it again.
i was caught in his trap
again
