Society of Wattpad

Dear society of Wattpad.

I don't know what to say. I don't know what to tell you.
It is worst than everything I went through.
The pain I feel. It is torturing me in the inside. It is eating me alive.
I feel like a mess. Everyone says that, right? I am not the only one, right?
I feel like nothing. I just don't feel anything, at all. It is so hard to keep up.
I thought I deserved better. I worked so hard to get there. I worked so hard. It is hard for me to say, officially say, that maybe you need to lose to win. (At some point)
I thought I could see the positive, and be positive, and act positive. But we thought so much, that we end up thinking nothing.
And this is where I am.
I lost control on everything. I panicked. And it happened.
When it happened, I thought "oh! Well". I knew I worked hard, and even if I don't have the result I wanted, the work would never fade away.
But today, it is hard to look back at everything you've done to win, and see that.. "Maybe I wasn't ready for this. Maybe I should've stayed home."
Society of Wattpad. No. Society. Just Society.
I wanted to win so much, that I lost it. It was there, peacefully resting on the verge of my existence. It was there and I missed it. I stepped in, and got out at the same time. I never knew I would become so depressed.
But I don't want to be depressed, you know? You are foolish. People thinks that I want pity. I want attention. But no. I want calm. I want my control back. I gave so much. I gave so much, and got nothing back. And this where it hurts.
It is worst than a breakup because. Because it's my fault. I am the one making myself sad. Disappointed. I could have stopped it, but I did nothing.
I stood there and hoped. But I didn't know that hope wasn't going to help my mental issues. No one told me this.

Society of Wattpad.
Why? Why, why, why. Why? Is this my real name? Is Cloe my real name? Someone somewhere inside of me is screaming to get out, to be finally free. Depression is near me.
Society of Wattpad.
I know that a lot of you cried. I know that a lot of you wanted. That a lot of you hoped.
But it is those things that keeps us alive. Maybe for some of you being alive is feeling pain. Maybe some of you being alive is feeling anger. Maybe some of you being alive means being someone else.
I respect that. I respect that, because I know the feeling.
Society of Wattpad.
This is my final message.
Humanity took everything away from us. It took our loved ones, it took our senses, it took our whole heart. But we can take it back.
Humanity is time. Humanity is pain. Humanity is torture. Humanity is the act of being human.
And a human is nothing without feelings. Emotions.

Society of Wattpad.
It was my pleasure.