This is Me..

The Pain..

I remember the simple times, when you didnt have to worry about boys or the fact that your not happy. I remember thinking of vacations or dream jobs... but it all went away.

Natalie, is my grandmother. Shes been here all my life and took me when i was 5 months old. My real mom was a drug addict, as much as i hate to say it. Those were the times when i was clueless to my surroundings, to the hurt and pain and didn't understand what was going on. For God sake i don't even remember when i found out about all the things i found out about her. Thats only the beginning...

My name is Kylie.. yes i have depression and yes i will give you a brief description of what caused it to get soo bad. Im 15 years old and i sing in a church choir containing 5 people. Im in the band and would never give up my band family for anything. Clarinet, singing, drawing, all things i love too do. Things that make me happy when i do them. However, looking back on past mistakes.. not the best idea, and youll find out why..

"Kylie are you packed for march for life?" Grandmother says.. "yess mom, im packed"
That was the start of something i didn't know would change my life, but it did. Its crazy how much though.. on that trip my aunt had a baby, i remember being so mad because i wouldn't be there to hold the little baby.
What i experience on march for life was not better... but i had no idea what it would lead too. Zachary.. Zachary Troy Fontenot was his name. The boy i fell in love with and then just gave up on me. Knowing how much ive been through or how much it would hurt me.. Its stupid how much a girl can run back too something thats not meant to happen..
His family.. thats the worst part of it. His mother eventually gave up on us because she didn't know what too do, but she still cared.

All the memories, all the happiness, its amazing how much you can be happy and then all of a sudden it just drowns in sorrow.. Eventually i had to just move on, I had to accept the fact that he didn't care or never wanted "us" too work out, but theres a reason why...