The Ribbon

This is a true story. My best friend that I care for so much wrote this. So many people have read this and loved it. I wanted to really share with you guys so she agreed that if I didn't say her name.

Warning: you may cry

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A ribbon is a sign of strength and courage. I would wrap it around my finger in remembrance of my fight. it's a bump in a path I though would be smoother. At least I have encountered who actually care. I may have liver cancer but I'm the same person I was five years ago. I may not be as pretty as the others, but I'm still human.

I have one thing a lot of people don't. It's called bravery. This describes me in a way I never though of before such as, being able to handle the fact I'm dying. Many people have the fear or death, but that's the one thing I don't fear what so ever. It's defiantly a challenge of worrying not only about myself, but for my best friends as well. I may be weak physically but, mentally, I'm the strongest person alive.

Although I have a short (but seems like forever) life of torment and pleasure, I still have a little way to go to make that change. I understand that cancer does change a lot of things in your life. it changes your whole perspective on how you see the world.

There's always that one person (maybe two) you can always talk to about everything and anything. Most people can talk to there mom about a problem, but not me. My mom died in a horrific car accident two years ago. I do still have that one person (well two people) I can talk to about anything, Bri and Sarah. They never judge me on the way I look or act because that know it's not my fault. They are both amazing people and I love them to death and I tell them everyday thank you for acting as if you were my sister (Bri is more like my mom though).

I was able to put my hair up today and that makes me so ecstatic because, when you have cancer you have the fear of it falling out. Fear is what a lot of people on how they act toward things. For instance, I have the fear of being hurt because as a child I was shut out of every family event and if I did go I was beat by my cousin. I was also very short. Cancer only made things worse, not only has it made me more scared than I already was, but now I have no use of self defense.

Imagine having to worry about hurting others. My life reminds me of a series of unfortunate events. I have been to the doctors more times than there are stands of hair left on my head. It will all be worth it though when I am back to being well me. Maybe I can have a chance to be one of the people that everyone at least smiles at me, and I will smile right back every time.

I know after kemo I am gonna be bald and even less paler than I already am. The worst is this experience is is having to deal with it for what could be the rest of my life. Battle is hard when you don't have weapons and I don't have weapons so I guess I'm on my own.

Live your life to the fullest and give your life meaning to it. Never let your self be less than you really are. I have given my life meaning by being a little sister to a great person, being over protective at some points, but loving every second of the time I have with her.

As being a patient of cancer, I know it feels like and worse. I have been beat, I have been shut out, I have been sent away, and I have experienced the feeling of dying slowly. It's not easy but I get through it with the encouragement of friends, the love of siblings, and the best part knowing your gonna experience new things you would have never though you would experience. I wish to make more friends but I wouldn't want to become close, and then have them lose me. I wouldn't want to do that to anyone.

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She will update and give me a new chapter.

If you really want to cry, read this again and listen to For Better from Wicked. You'll die.